[Fwd: ‘Penis killers’ get 205 years]

Two former policemen found guilty of murder in an apparent argument
about genitals have been sentenced on Wednesday to 205 years in prison
by the Durban High Court.

Judge Guido Penzhorn sentenced Brian Steven to 115 years for four counts
of murder and one count of attempted murder.

Leon Steven was sentenced to 90 years in jail for four counts of murder
and one of attempted murder.

On September 10, 2008 the Steven brothers shot dead Shawn Strydom, 32,
Nic Jansen van Rensburg, 47, Rory Menzies, 41 and Bruce Edwards, 57.

There had apparently been an argument over the size of a patron's
genitals at the Merseyside Pub in Umbilo. - Sapa

[Fwd: Dear Sis Dolly...]

A reader, to the DAILY SUN:

Dear Sis Dolly:

I am a very charming man in his late 60s and married with 3 wives and
have 20 kids. My most recent child is from a relationship with a 39 year
old super-hot and gorgeous woman. We are very compatible and I think she
is she "special one" but there is one challenge, i.e. she happened to be
a daughter to a friend of mine but I would like to wed her too.

However, I don't want to be the cause of any beef between me and my friend.

Please help.

Anonymous,
eNkandla!!

.

Response from Dolly:

"Voetsek Jacob, I know it's you!"

Fwd: There's ALWAYS a way!

[Fwd: Why 9/11 wasn't pulled off by coloureds]

------

Originally: "Why coloureds can't be terrorists" - by MARK LOTTERING

------

- Ons is altyd laat. We would have missed all four flights.

- We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.

- Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane, we'll sommer forget why we're
there in the first place.

- We praat with our hands, so we'll continually be putting down the weapons.

- We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending up in a moerse
fight with each other.

- We'll argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even get on
the plane and one of us is bound to say out loud, "Gaan kak man! Dan
hijack jy die fokken plane alleen!!"

- Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie. We would have told everyone a week
before doing it, telling them, "Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!"

- We would have all lined up to get our picture taken by one of the
hostages.

- When we enter the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system for
a karaoke session, with one doos trying to sing 'I did it my way'.

- We would first rob everyone of their Ray-Bans, cellphones and gold
teeth just before we crash the plane.

- Our whole freaking family plus neighbours would have been at the
airport to see us off, crying their bleddie eyes out, and your mother
saying to the white ou next to her, "I'm so proud of him. It's the first
time he's hijacking a plane!"

- We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport go-way clothes:
balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies, dark glasses, en 'n moerse
attitude.

- Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home...

- Three of us would have overweight luggage.

- All of us would have luggage.

- We would have wanted to watch the in-flight movie first.

- Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet
to first gel our hair.

- We would have taken the plane for a joyride past Strandfontein
Pavillion first, played the music at full blast and then try to park the
plane someplace where the chicks could see us...

------

Disclaimer from http://www.marclottering.com

An email is once again being circulated entitled WHY COLOUREDS CAN'T BE
TERRORISTS. The chain email cites Marc as the author. This is false.

Marc never wrote this piece and we have no idea who did.

If you have the misfortune of having received the email, please spread
the word that it is fraudulent and that it has nothing to do with Marc
Lottering.

Fwd: Buck 0 - snake 1

Photographed by Telkom technicians in Stanger, KZN

[Fwd: Taxi driver charged with culpable homicide (trimmed)]

While thousands gathered on Sunday for a ceremony at the railway
crossing where 10 children died in a taxi on Wednesday, police arrested
the taxi driver moments after he was discharged from hospital.

The 55-year-old man is expected to appear in the Blue Downs Magistrate's
Court on Tuesday on a charge of culpable homicide.

Nine children were killed in the crash at the Blackheath crossing, and a
tenth, 10-year-old Jade Adams, died in hospital three days ago.

Witnesses and one of the survivors, 16-year-old Luciano de Koker, said
the taxi driver had overtaken a number of cars and tried to cross the
tracks even though the boom was down.

An oncoming train had then smashed into the taxi.

Yesterday Luciano's mother, Jocelyn de Koker, said that, although her
son did not want to speak about the crash, he had told her that the taxi
driver had often ignored the booms and driven across the tracks.

This article was originally published on page 1 of Cape Times on August
30, 2010

[Fwd: Teachers strike set to delay exams]

Pics: "Teacher's strike in Tembisa" (those very same people that you
have entrusted to educate, supervise and protect your children?)

-------------------

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 11:36

Matric pupils will know in the next few days whether they will write
their preliminary exams next week.

The exams were scheduled to start on 3 September but the ongoing
public servants strike has meant pupils have not covered all of the
necessary work.

Township schools have been hit the hardest by the mass action. Last
week, only around 20 percent of schools in Gauteng were open.

Over a million public servants are on strike over wages. Government
says it is essentially giving them 8.5 percent, just 0.1 percent less
than what unions are demanding.

[Fwd: Urgency]

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host
Anne Diamond when he used the word "mañana" (pronounced "manyana").

Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.

He said that the term means "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe
the next day, maybe the day after that. Or perhaps next week, next
month, next year. Who really cares?"

The host turned to Mr. Sipho Msontwana who was also on the show and
asked him if there was an equivalent term in his native language.

"Eish, Madam" he replied, "in Xhosa we don't have a word to describe
that degree of urgency."

[Fwd: Why the ANC hates a free press]

[Fwd: Pap en wors...]

...hond.

Fwd: Gauteng Blonde

Fwd: Hannah vannie Kaap

[Fwd: Why do South African Police officers wear reflective jackets?]

[Fwd: Jackie Selebi has little to fear about being gang-raped in prison]

In fact, says a former outlaw, prison will be safer than the streets of
Joburg.

Allan Heyl is a man who knows prisons, having spent 27 years behind bars
for his crime spree with the Stander Gang in the early 1980s. He did his
time in correctional facilities in South Africa and in the UK, and he
wants to give the former top cop gone bad some pointers on surviving
jail.

"You must speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil. Don't trust anyone,
don't stick your nose in anyone's business and hope to find a friend
soon," says Heyl. Also, don't flash cash.

It is likely that it will take just a few weeks for Selebi to find his
feet, and then it will be a matter of dealing with the monotony of years
in prison. But Selebi has little to fear in prison, even though he is an
ex-policeman, Heyl believes.

Jailbirds turning on convicted cops with knives is all Hollywood, he
says. "I never saw anyone, or heard of anyone, being raped in 27 years
of prison."

Having experienced the worst of jail, Heyl feels that Selebi's sentence
is too harsh for a white-collar crime that involved no violence and will
do little to rehabilitate him.

"What does it achieve, what is the point? It is a society hellbent on
vengeance," he says.

In time, if he is well behaved, Selebi will get privileges. He can earn
the right to have a radio in his cell, maybe a clothes iron one day.

"It will be the best of what hell can offer.

"But he will have to wear that orange uniform and eat that food," Heyl
notes.

This article was originally published on page 5 of The Star on August
04, 2010

Fwd: New product from ABSA

ABSA now finances iLobolo.

The bank gives you a Lobola Loan and you pay back on a monthly basis
(instalments). When you fail to pay your instalments, ABSA does the
usual repossession and sells the wife as a "2nd Hand Wife" at an
auction to recoup their loss.

Most guys are vying for this as it makes divorce easy and less costly.

If you don't want her any more you simply miss payments and she's gone.