2010-09-30

[Fwd: ‘Penis killers’ get 205 years]

Two former policemen found guilty of murder in an apparent argument
about genitals have been sentenced on Wednesday to 205 years in prison
by the Durban High Court.

Judge Guido Penzhorn sentenced Brian Steven to 115 years for four counts
of murder and one count of attempted murder.

Leon Steven was sentenced to 90 years in jail for four counts of murder
and one of attempted murder.

On September 10, 2008 the Steven brothers shot dead Shawn Strydom, 32,
Nic Jansen van Rensburg, 47, Rory Menzies, 41 and Bruce Edwards, 57.

There had apparently been an argument over the size of a patron's
genitals at the Merseyside Pub in Umbilo. - Sapa

2010-09-27

[Fwd: Dear Sis Dolly...]

A reader, to the DAILY SUN:

Dear Sis Dolly:

I am a very charming man in his late 60s and married with 3 wives and
have 20 kids. My most recent child is from a relationship with a 39 year
old super-hot and gorgeous woman. We are very compatible and I think she
is she "special one" but there is one challenge, i.e. she happened to be
a daughter to a friend of mine but I would like to wed her too.

However, I don't want to be the cause of any beef between me and my friend.

Please help.

Anonymous,
eNkandla!!

.


Response from Dolly:

"Voetsek Jacob, I know it's you!"

2010-09-23

Fwd: There's ALWAYS a way!

2010-09-11

[Fwd: Why 9/11 wasn't pulled off by coloureds]

------

Originally: "Why coloureds can't be terrorists" - by MARK LOTTERING

------

- Ons is altyd laat. We would have missed all four flights.

- We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves.

- Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane, we'll sommer forget why we're
there in the first place.

- We praat with our hands, so we'll continually be putting down the weapons.

- We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending up in a moerse
fight with each other.

- We'll argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even get on
the plane and one of us is bound to say out loud, "Gaan kak man! Dan
hijack jy die fokken plane alleen!!"

- Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie. We would have told everyone a week
before doing it, telling them, "Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!"

- We would have all lined up to get our picture taken by one of the
hostages.

- When we enter the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system for
a karaoke session, with one doos trying to sing 'I did it my way'.

- We would first rob everyone of their Ray-Bans, cellphones and gold
teeth just before we crash the plane.

- Our whole freaking family plus neighbours would have been at the
airport to see us off, crying their bleddie eyes out, and your mother
saying to the white ou next to her, "I'm so proud of him. It's the first
time he's hijacking a plane!"

- We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport go-way clothes:
balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies, dark glasses, en 'n moerse
attitude.

- Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home...

- Three of us would have overweight luggage.

- All of us would have luggage.

- We would have wanted to watch the in-flight movie first.

- Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet
to first gel our hair.

- We would have taken the plane for a joyride past Strandfontein
Pavillion first, played the music at full blast and then try to park the
plane someplace where the chicks could see us...


------

Disclaimer from http://www.marclottering.com

An email is once again being circulated entitled WHY COLOUREDS CAN'T BE
TERRORISTS. The chain email cites Marc as the author. This is false.

Marc never wrote this piece and we have no idea who did.

If you have the misfortune of having received the email, please spread
the word that it is fraudulent and that it has nothing to do with Marc
Lottering.

2010-09-03

Fwd: Buck 0 - snake 1

Photographed by Telkom technicians in Stanger, KZN

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