Die beste doos...


Fw: Nando's does it again!


Afrikaners is plesierig

Die twee seuntjies...

Die twee seuntjies sit met hulle totties in die water.
'n Oom kom verby gestap en vra, "Wat maak julle?"
"Ons probeer doos vang, Oom!"
Die oom (speel maar saam om te kyk) en vra, "Kan ek ook probeer?"
Hulle sê, "Ja Oom! jy moet jou broek aftrek en ook jou tottie in die
water sit soos ons."
Na so 'n ruk vra die oom, "Hoeveel doose het julle al gevang?"
Die twee seuntjies sê, "Oom, jy is die 5de een vandag!!!!"


Ouer vroue

Ek kyk my vrou op 'n dag so en sê: "Liefie, toe ons 30 jaar gelede
getroud is, het ons 'n goedkoop woonstel en 'n goedkoop kar gehad. Ons
het op 'n sofabed geslaap en na 'n swart en wit TV stel gekyk. Maar ek
het elke aand by 'n vuurwarm blondine in die kooi geklim. Nou het ons
'n mooi huis, 'n mooi kar en 'n plasma TV skerm. Maar ek slaap elke
aand by 'n vrou van 55 en ek dink nie jy is besig om jou kant te bring
My vrou is rerig 'n baie redelike mens. Sy sê toe ek moet gaan en vir
my 'n warmbloedige 25-jarige blondine soek. Dan sal sy, wat my vrou is,
seker maak dat ek weer in 'n goedkoop woonstel bly, in 'n goedkoop tjor
ry, op 'n sofabed slaap en na 'n klein swart en wit TV kyk.
Ouer vroue is briljant.
Hulle weet presies hoe om jou middeljare krisis op te los.

Vernon Koekemoodley


Know thy Future President

Zuma's Wives

Number One

Sizakele Khumalo - whom he met in 1959. She lives at his rural R1,5-million home at Nkandla in northern KwaZulu- Natal and they have no children.


Foreign Affairs Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, with whom he had four children: Msholozi, 24, Gugu, 22, Thuli, 21 and Thuthi, 19. They divorced in June 1998 due to "irreconcilable differences."

Late wife

Kate Zuma, with whom he had five children: Saady, 29, twins Duduzile and Duduzane both 25, Phumzile, 20 and Vusi.  She committed suicide on December 8, 2000 after apparent strained relations with Zuma.

Still on honeymoon

Nompumelelo Mantuli Zuma - whom he married in January 2008. She has two children Thandiswe, 7 and eight month old Sinquobile.

Waiting in the wings

Thobeka Stacey Mabhija - with whom he has two children including a 5 month old baby.

Mrs Jacob Zuma number six?

Bongi Ngema - from Umlazi, has a seven month old son.

Old flame

Minah Shongwe - who's Zuma's old flame. Shongwe, the sister of Judge Jeremiah Shongwe has a 30 year old son, Edward with Zuma.

Left at the altar

Zuma also paid half lobola for Swazi Princess Sebentile Dlamini, 38, the granddaughter of King Sobhuza III, in 2002 but nothing has come of it.

4 Marriages, 1 Half Lobola, 3 sleeping partners and 15 children.

And we worry about Steve Hofmeyr?


Pay ilobolo for my bitch...'s pups

by Tarzan Mbita


Working together...

'You will die if you rape me'

A 29-year-old woman has told the Pretoria regional court that she warned
two men who wanted to rape that they would die if they raped her because
she was pregnant.
The woman was giving evidence yesterday in the trial of Edward Thabang
Mosehla ,20, and Happy Ngomane Masinga ,25, whom she said believed her.
Mosehla and Masinga were earlier found guilty on three charges of
robbery with aggravating circumstances, two charges of rape, three of
kidnapping, one of attempted murder and the unlawful possession of a
semi-automatic firearm and ammunition.
The 29-year-old complainant testified that she got in a taxi at the
Denneboom Station in Mamelodi at about 10 one evening in December 2005.
Inside the taxi was the driver and his 20-year-old girlfriend.
A few minutes later the taxi was stopped by two men who got in.
"One of the men pulled out a firearm and pointed it against the driver's
head," the woman told the court.
Near Mahube Valley, east of Mamelodi, the men took the driver's money
and cap and tied him up with his shoe laces. "They just left him there
in the veld," the court heard.
The robbers took off with the taxi and the two women inside.
Near the Cullinan/Moloto Road they stopped and ordered the younger woman
to undress.
When she refused, they hit her with their fists and while she was
fighting her attackers, they fired a shot in her direction.
The older woman testified that both men raped the younger woman in front
of her. "She cried and screamed the whole time," she said.
It was when the men wanted to rape the older woman that she told them
she was pregnant.
"They turned to the girl and raped her again," she said.
The women managed to untie themselves after they were left behind by
their attackers.
They found a taxi and went to the police station and then the hospital.
The robbers drove to a tavern for drinks.
The vehicle had a tracking system and the police and tracking company
Netstar closed in on the two suspects.
The vehicle was forced to stop and the driver tried to run away, but was
caught by a police dog.

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