#064: Sex - The pursuit of women

Two builders - Jakes and Koos - are working at the top of
a high rise building site in Sandton. Jakes turns to Koos
and says, "I've gotta take a piss but there's nowhere to go."

"Walk out to the end of that plank," replies Koos, "I'll stand
on this end and balance it."

"Are you sure, Koos?"

"Ja, it's allraait, organised."

So out goes Jakes to take a piss but before he's finished the
lunch siren sounds. Koos forgets what he's supposed to be doing
and steps off the plank.

Jakes, of course, is a goner.

Several months later an Australian, a Frenchman and a South
African are sitting in a bar discussing which of their respective
Nations chase women the hardest.

Wazza the Aussie says, "Mate, I've been known to miss a piss-up
session down at the pub with me mates trying to crack on the

Pierre the Frenchman says, "Non, non, non! We French chase ze
women weeth much zest and geev to zem gifts of love like champagne
to ween zeir affection. Eet eez us for sure!"

Meanwhile Mark the South African sits laughing and says, "No-no,
you okes are both wrong. The other day I was walking past this
building site at home, following these two gorgeous-looking birds
and this guy came plummeting from the sky with his dick in his hand,
screaming 'POOOOOOOEESSSS!'"

[Submitted by Senior]


#063: South Africa - Vrot eiers

One day Meraai wanted to bake a cake, but she ran out of eggs.
So she went to her usual grocery store in the dorp where she lived.

As she walked in, the owner, Gatiep, was there and she asked him
for a dozen eggs. She went back home and baked the cake. To her
surprise the eggs were rotten, so she went back to the store and
this time Gatiep wasn't there but his wife, Sera, was there.

Meraai approached the lady and said "Wiet djy, djou man het
vrot eiers?"

Sera, obviously shocked and upset said "Hoe wiet djy my man hy
het vrot eiers!?"

Meraai replied, "Kom ruik my koek!"

[Submitted by Stephen]


#062: South Africa - The evils of drugs

Gatiep and Frankie were picked up by the cops for smoking
dope and appeared in the magistrate's court on Friday before
the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like
to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want
you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils
of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see
you back in court on Monday."

On Monday the two guys were back in court, and the judge said
to Frankie, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, Your Honour, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs

"17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, Your Honour. I drew two circles like
this: O and o... and told them this (the big circle) is
your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your
brain after drugs."

"That's admirable!" said the judge.

To Gatiep the judge said, "And you, how did you do?"

"Well, Your Honour, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar approach. I drew two circles:
o and O and said (pointing' to the small circle) "this is
your asshole before going to prison..."

[Submitted by Tom]


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