Demotivational and dubious honour


Sandton vs. Brakpan vs. Katlehong


Sandton: You drive an Audi A5.

Brakpan: You drive a Corsa with BMW M3 mirrors (and tinted windows,
dropped suspension, those spiff blue lights underneath the car, and
go-faster stripes).

Katlehong: You drive a Hi-Ace that also boasts tinted windows that
prevent anyone noticing the extra seats which allow you to seat an
additional eight passengers.


Sandton: You go shopping in Paris.

Brakpan: You go shopping in Germiston.

Katlehong: You go "affirmative shopping" in Sandton, Rosebank and
Woodmead. At night.


Sandton: You have a security guard at your front gate.

Brakpan: You work as a security guard in Sandton.

Katlehong: You know the security guards in Brakpan and Sandton.


Sandton: You love Cognac.

Brakpan: You smaak Klippies.

Katlehong: You love anything alcoholic with your Chicken-Licken.


Sandton: You listen to Andrea Bocelli.

Brakpan: You listen to Bomfunk MCs and Fokofpolisiekar.

Katlehong: You listen to Pitch Black Afro and Zola.


Sandton: "Excuse me, but what do you think you are doing?"

Brakpan: "Hey, china... Ek moer jou."

Katlehong: "Eiish... voetsek!"


Sandton: You smoke Cuban cigars!

Brakpan: You smoke whatever you buy behind the Casbah Roadhouse on a
Friday night.

Katlehong: You smoke the finest your friends bring from Swaziland.


Sandton: Your shoes are hand-made in Italy.

Brakpan: Your shoes are hand-made in Springs.

Katlehong: Your shoes are handmade in a Chinese sweatshop and sport
famous, recognisable logos.


Sandton: Ballroom dancing.

Brakpan: Windsurfing (lang-arm).

Katlehong: Toy-toying during a strike or protest.


Sandton: You fly first class.

Brakpan: You fly from whatever you buy behind the Casbah Roadhouse on
Friday night.

Katlehong: You're terrified of flying but have emptied several clips at
planes just after take-off.


Sandton: Your wife is 36-24-34.

Brakpan: Your wife is 36-24-34 - and her other leg is just as big!

Katlehong: Your wives are 48-36-54.


Sandton: Fireplace in the lounge.

Brakpan: Cadac in the kitchen.

Katlehong: Open fire in any room.


Sandton: You meet your girlfriend at a celebrity fundraiser.

Brakpan: You meet your meisie behind the Casbah Roadhouse on a
Friday night.

Katlehong: You meet your skweezas at the nearest shebeen.


Sandton: Monaco Grandprix Circuit.

Brakpan: Rainbow Drag Strip (where Nissan 1400 bakkies are faster than
the new Williams prototype).

Katlehong: Rush-hour races along Heidelberg Road or the Golden Highway.


Sandton: Blu-Ray. Plasma. HDTV.

Brakpan: Sê weer?

Katlehong: Your Blu-Ray. Your plasma. Your DStv. My shack.



Fwd: Boy gutted for his 'meat' [summarised]

By Angelique Serrao

A five-year-old boy lay in an open veld for hours with his intestines
hanging out after a man gutted him open with a glass bottle.

Nobody knows how long [he] lay in the open piece of ground near Kya
Sand. It was probably a few hours, because by the time the boy reached
doctors on Monday afternoon, he was dehydrated and in extreme shock.

[His] first good Samaritan was a group of local children who were
playing near the footpath where the five-year-old lay injured. When they
saw their friend lying there hurt, they did not hesitate and an older
boy quickly called the police.

When Constable Joshua Shilajoe arrived on the scene, he could not
believe what he saw: a tiny boy who looked at him with wide eyes while
his insides lay outside his body.

The child told the police that a man had stabbed him with a broken
bottle and told him he wanted to get some meat from him.


Municipality literacy shock [summarised]

Xolani Mbanjwa
August 27 2008 at 06:48AM

One in three municipal councillors cannot read or write, and more lack
basic competencies to run local government finances.

Some councillors are even embarrassed to admit they do not understand
English and are therefore unable to follow council proceedings or
training sessions.

On average, only half of local government politicians have post-matric
qualifications, while only two out of 10 understand how tariffs are set
or the cost implications of municipal services.

These facts are contained in a study by the SA Local Government
Association (Salga).

A number of councillors were not comfortable in conducting business or
being trained in English.

"Some councillors are not comfortable in doing business in languages
that are not their mother-tongues. But they keep quiet because they are

The depressing figures have been fingered as one of the main
contributors of poor municipal service delivery, but also expose the
legacy of apartheid in institutions of governance.

The study - conducted since the 2006 local polls and completed late last
year - evaluated 7 000 of the country's 9 300 councillors.

"The practical implications are that if so many of them do not have
proper reading and writing skills, then we can assume that councils end
up approving budgets they can't interpret."


Licensed to kill in lawless SA

By Jeremy Gordin and Eleanor Momberg [summarised]

One hundred and thirty-three murders - 69 of which were committed more
than two years ago - and as yet not one murder conviction.

A disgraceful fracas in the Johannesburg city centre, with Metro police
closing off part of a highway and exchanging live gunfire with
policemen, yet, two months later, no charges have been laid.

These are just two scenes from a society in which lawlessness has
apparently become the order of the day, rather than safety and security.

Johan Burger, a senior researcher at the Institute for Security Studies
in Pretoria, said: "If we continue being a lawless society, which is
what we are doing, we are well on our way to anarchy. The point is that,
as admitted by Johnny de Lange, the deputy minister of justice, the
system is not working.

"The second point is that, if the law is broken, then the authorities
must act. But we have so many cases in this country of selective law
enforcement that the wheels have come off in general."

The Sunday Independent this week attempted to find out what progress had
been made in four high-profile incidents that occurred in the past few
years - the police fracas, the deaths of 69 security guards during a
strike in 2006, the murder of two Johannesburg Metrobus drivers during a
strike in 2007, and the xenophobic violence in Gauteng.

No one has been convicted of murder in connection with the deaths of the
69 security guards who died during the security guards' strike between
March and June 2006. Many of the guards, who were accused of being scabs
during the strike, died in the network of railway lines that connect
Pretoria and the East and West Rands with Johannesburg. Most were flung
from trains. But many were also shot or severely assaulted.

"In cases, like these, where many were killed mainly by being thrown off
trains by their supposed colleagues, it's very difficult to make murder
charges stick," he said.

No charges have ever been laid for the March 2007 murders of the two
Johannesburg Metrobus drivers, who were found burned beyond recognition
in Kagiso on the West Rand, during the Johannesburg bus drivers' strike,
a senior official of the Johannesburg metro said.

"The thing is, where you have political involvement, where the unions
are involved, there are not going to be charges brought," said the
official, who asked to remain anonymous. "That's the way it is. You can
forget about it."

There was better news regarding the 62 people murdered during the
xenophobic violence in May. A number of cases have been prepared in
connection with the xenophobic murders. But none has come to court yet
and Tlali Tlali, the spokesperson for the national prosecuting authority
(NPA), was unable give any firm dates for trials.

Tlali said that 56 cases relating to xenophobic violence were "trial
ready", but had been postponed for further investigation and bail and
legal aid applications.

The charges listed by the NPA for the xenophobic violence had theft,
robbery, rape, public violence, house breaking, assault, inciting public
violence and arson appended to them - with murder low down on the list
of the charges.

Regarding the fracas on June 25 this year, when 400 striking
Johannesburg metro policemen blocked off part of a highway and had a
gunfight with police service members, Wayne Minnaar, the spokesman for
the Johannesburg metro police department, said that the department would
hold a press conference this week at which it would be announced whether
the incident would be dealt with internally or by the NPA in open court.

The Sunday Independent has contacted Charles Nqakula, the minister of
safety and security, a number of times since Thursday midday, asking
whether he had any additional information about any of the four
incidents, and asking him to comment on justice being delayed being
tantamount to justice denied.

But the minister had not responded by the time of going to press.

* *This article was originally published on page 1 of **Sunday
Independent* <http://www.sundayindependent.co.za/>* on August 24,
2008 *


The contents of our mailbox in yours!
Join us @ http://groups.google.com/group/TheDirtyThumb

Hey, Mugu!

South Africa: Where smoking in public is the worst crime...


'No one can have it if we can't'

By Heinz de Boer

"If you remove our cables, you had better move all the power from the
area. No-one can have it if we are not allowed to (have electricity)."

This is part of a bizarre threat made to the city after vandals
destroyed a mini substation and totally blacked out a large part of Sea
Cow Lake from Friday. The electricity supply was restored on Tuesday.

A note was left behind holding the city to ransom and threatening more
of the same if the city clamped down on illegal connections and cable theft.

The note threatened that the same would happen if the council did not
allow illegal connections to remain. He said theft would, however,
continue until the socio-economic conditions behind the thefts were

"There is generally rampant theft of electricity and illegal connections
in the Sea Cow Lake area. As fast as we replace these cables they are
stolen again. But unless we police 24 hours a day it will happen.
Wherever there are informal settlements where poor people have not been
provided with electricity the temptation to connect illegally is often
too great for some," he said.

Then there are the professional thieves who have made the wholesale
theft of major electrical lines their business. Armed with chainsaws,
the gangs often target rural or desolate areas where cables run.

* *This article was originally published on page 1 of **Daily News*
<http://www.dailynews.co.za/>* on August 20, 2008 *


Breaking News - Beijing 2008!

News just out...

South Africa took three gold medals this morning...

...Security caught them at the gate.

Corrupt Traffic Cop

A motorist whose licence disc expired has had his car towed away because
a metro police officer allegedly wanted to punish him for not paying a

Modise Sikhosana said the Ekurhuleni officer said she would teach him a
lesson. The incident happened outside Nedbank on Voortrekker Road in
Alberton on Monday.

She allegedly pointed a finger at him, rudely reprimanding him in front
of his wife and 4-year-old son. "Are we going to be arrested, papa," his
little boy asked with tears in his eyes.

"Of course not," he tried to reassure him. "An expired disc doesn't get
anyone in jail."

The metro cop, according to Sikhosana, was waiting for him next to his
car. He said he didn't even object to a fine.

But the metro police officer had something else in mind. She told him
the matter would be solved far easier if he just paid her an R800 bribe.

Sikhosana refused, joking that an R800 bribe would be more expensive
than the fine itself. It was then that the woman in uniform got angry.
She walked back to her car and called the private Bafana Bafana towing

A tow truck arrived later and left with Sikhosana's car and keys. The
tow truck driver allegedly asked him to sign all kinds of papers. But
Sikhosana refused. He didn't receive any impoundment receipt.

Just before the tow truck left, the metro police officer allegedly gave
Sikhosana one last bribing opportunity - for R2 000 he could keep his
car. With the money she could pay the tow truck driver and keep some for
herself, she said.

Again Sikhosana rejected the offer. "They didn't tell me where they took
my car," he told The Star yesterday. "I asked the metro police officer
if I could pick it up at the police station the next day or so, but she
said it would be kept at the premises of the towing firm."

"It could be stripped, but I am not accountable for that in any way,"
she threatened Sikhosana, laughing.

She gave him the R200 fine anyway, punishing him twice for the same
offence. Sikhosana had to call his sister to take him and his family
back to their Katlehong home. He reported his car as stolen to 10111.

But on Tuesday, almost two days later, Sikhosana still didn't know where
to look for it. He filed an official complaint at the Vosloorus metro
police department - not in Alberton because it turned out the police
officer had operated outside her jurisdiction.

The towing company confirmed yesterday it had indeed towed away
Sikhosana's car. They stated that it was not uncommon for the metro
police to ask them for help. They said they even have a contract with
the Ekurhuleni metro police.

*This article was originally published on page 2 of **The Star*
<http://www.thestar.co.za/>* on August 20, 2008 *


2010: We are ready

A different perspective on Mandela

Apartheid may have been wrong and stupid but hey, now comparisons can be
made, and the people themselves are examining the truth behind South
Africa's problems.


Sarah is an Englishwoman endowed with an incisive and razor-sharp
understanding of South Africa's recent history. Unlike so many millions
of brain-washed lemmings in the UK, she sees right through the
media-contrived smoke & mirrors, lies and myths as propounded by the

This excellent two part article appeared on the blog of Sarah


By Sarah, Maid of Albion

It is often said that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom
fighter, however, this usually means that the other man has been less
than fastidious in his choice of hero, or that the "freedom fighter" in
question was on the crowd pleasing side.

On the 27th of June, London's Hyde Park played host to a concert in
honour of Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday and as expected it received
wall to wall coverage from a star struck and worshipping media, who
continue to laud Mandela as one of the greatest, or indeed the greatest,
heroes of our time.
The beaming old man appeared on stage in one of his trademark
multi-coloured shirts and cheerily acknowledge the cheers of the adoring
crowd, most of whom have been taught to believe in his sainthood since
their first days in primary school, which, for many of them, will have
occurred around the same time their hero walked free from Robben Island.

The unquestioning belief in Mandela's universally admired saintliness
was again on display in the gushing media coverage and by the unending
line of politicians and dignitaries from presidents to Prime ministers
who queued up to genuflect before him and sing his praises. It is a
brave politician or journalist who would dare to question the godliness
of this legend and consummate showman, and hence no such questions were
raised, nor were his much vaunted "achievements" subjected to any
objective scrutiny.

No matter how many speeches are given or how many news articles are
written, it will be a long time if ever before the truth about Mandela
is told.

In fact the truth about Mandela is so hidden in mythology and
misinformation that most know nothing about him prior to Robben island,
and those who do tend to exercise a form of self censorship, designed to
bolster the myth whilst consigning uncomfortable facts into the mists of

For most people all they know about Mandela, prior to his release in
1990, was that he had spent 27 years in prison and was considered by
many on the left at the time (and almost everyone now) to be a political
prisoner. However, Mandela was no Aung San Suu Kyi, he was not an
innocent, democratically elected leader, imprisoned by an authoritarian

Mandela was the terrorist leader of a violent terrorist organisation,
the ANC (African National Congress) which was responsible for many
thousands of, mostly black, deaths. The ANC's blood spattered history is
frequently ignored, but reminders occasionally pop up in the most
embarrassing places, indeed as recently as this month the names of
Nelson Mandela and most of the ANC remained on the US government's
terrorist watch list along with al-Queda, Hezbollah and the Tamil
Tigers. Of course the forces of political correctness are rushing to
amend that embarrassing reminder from the past. However, Mandela's name
was not on that list by mistake, he was there because of his murderous past.

Before I am accused of calumny, it should be noted that Mandela does not
seek to hide his past, in his autobiography "the long walk to Freedom"
he casually admits "signing off" the 1983 Church Street bombing carried
out by the ANC and killing 19 innocent people whilst injuring another 200.

It is true that Mandela approved that massacre and other ANC killings
from his prison cell, and there is no evidence that he personally killed
anyone but the same could be said about Stalin or Hitler, and the
violent history of the ANC, the organisation he led is not in question.

According to the Human Rights Commission it is estimated that during the
Apartheid period some 21,000 people were killed, however both the UN
Crimes against Humanity commission and South Africa's own Truth and
Reconciliation Commission are in agreement that in those 43 years the
South African Security forces killed a total of 518 people. The rest,
(some 92%) were accounted for by Africans killing Africans, many by
means of the notorious and gruesome practice of necklacing whereby a car
tyre full of petrol is placed around a victim's neck and set alight.
This particularly cruel form of execution was frequently carried out at
the behest of the ANC with the enthusiastic support of Mandela's demonic
wife Winnie.

The brutal reappearance of the deadly necklace in recent weeks is
something I shall reluctantly focus upon later.

Given that so much blood was on the hands of his party, and, as such,
the newly appointed government, some may conclude that those who praised
Madela's mercy and forgiveness, when the Truth and Reconciliation
tribunal set up after he came to power, to look into the Apartheid
years, did not include a provision for sanctions, were being
deliberately naive.

Such nativity is not uncommon when it comes to the adoring reporting of
Nelson Madela, and neither is the great leader himself rarely shy of
playing up his image of fatherly elder statesman and multi-purpose
paragon. However, in truth, the ANC's conscious decision to reject a
policy of non-violence, such as that chosen by Gandhi, in their struggle
against the white government, had left them, and by extension, their
leader, with at least as much blood on their hands as their one time
oppressors, and this fact alone prevented them from enacting the revenge
which might otherwise have been the case.

As the first post Apartheid president of South Africa it would, be
unfair if not ludicrous to judge Mandela entirely on the basis of events
before he came to power, and in any event there is many a respected
world leader or influential statesman with a blood stained past so let
us now examine Nelson Mandela's achievements, and the events which have
occurred in South Africa in the 14 short years since he took power in
following the post Apartheid election in 1994, and the new South Africa
which he created after coming to power on a surge of worldwide optimism
and hope in 1994, when, following the end of Apartheid, he and his
followers promised a new dawn for what became termed the Rainbow Nation.

Today South Africa stands out as one of the most dangerous and crime
ridden nations on Earth which is not actively at War. In 2001, only
seven years after the end of Apartheid, whilst the city of Amsterdam in
the Netherlands with 5,6 murders per 100,000 population was declared the
"murder capitol of Europe", Johannesburg, with 61.2 murders per 100,00
population and remains the world's top murder city.

In South Africa as a whole, the murder rate is seven times that of
America, in terms of rape the rate is ten times as high and includes the
ugly phenomenon of child rape, one of the few activities in which South
Africa is now a world leader. If you don't believe me, you can read what
Oprah Winfrey has to say about it here.

All other forms of violent crime are out of control, and Johannesburg is
among the top world cities for muggings and violent assault, a fact
seldom mentioned in connection with the 2010 World Cup which is
scheduled to be hosted in South Africa.

As always with black violence the primary victims are their fellow
blacks, however, the rape, murder and violent assault of whites is a
daily event, and there is more ...

As with the Matabeleland massacres, news of which the BBC, together with
much of the world media suppressed for twenty years to protect their one
time hero, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe, another secret genocide is being
ignored by the world media, the genocide of white Boer farmers,
thousands of whom have been horribly tortured to death in their homes
since the end of Apartheid. Anyone who clicks on this link should we
warned that it includes some very gruesome images as the savagery of
these attacks belie the authorities attempts to dismiss them as nothing
more than a "crime wave".

Given that it is now all but illegal in South Africa to report the race
of either victim or the perpetrator of a crime (unless the perpetrator
is white and the victim black) and as modern South Africa's official
crime statistics are notoriously massaged, it is impossible to know the
exact numbers of farm murders that have taken place. Many reliable
sources estimate the figure as close to 3,000, but even if we take the
more conservative figure of 1,600 quoted in the politically correct
South African press (but not quoted at all in ours) this is three times
the numbers killed by the South African security forces over a period of
43 years, and which the UN calls a crime against humanity.

To put this in perspective, the population of South Africa is 47
million, (13 million less than Britain despite its far greater land
mass) of which the 4.3 million whites account for 9.1%, about 1% less
than the immigrant population of Britain. Can you imagine the outcry if
1,600 (let alone 3,000) members of a minority community in Britain were
tortured to death by the native population?.

Yet when the victims are white, there is hardly a peep in the South
African press and silence from the international media. Compare this to
when a white youth is the killer, such as in the case of Johan Nel, who
shot three Africans, a story which became instant world wide news with
the predictable screams of racism and machete wielding mobs baying for
his blood.

(And they accuse us of hate?!! Don't such people nauseate themselves
with their hypocrisy?!)

Crime aside, Mandela and his ANC inherited the strongest economy in
Africa, indeed, despite economic sanctions, South Africa was still one
of the richest world nations, and indeed initially there was a brief
post Apartheid boom, resulting from the lifting of sanctions and due to
the fact that until affirmative action forced most of the whites out of
their jobs to be replaced by under qualified blacks, those who had built
South Africa were still in place.

However, any optimism was to be short lived. Now, after just 14 years of
rule by Mandela and his grim successor Mbeke, corruption is rife, the
country is beset with power cuts and the infrastructure is crumbling.

The nation's great cities like Durban and Johannesburg, which could once
rival the likes of Sydney, Vancouver and San Francisco, had descended in
to decaying crime ridden slums within a decade.

And in recent months we have seen the so called Rainbow nations ultimate
humiliation, as xenophobic anti immigration violence spreads across the
country. ("xenophobic" is what the media call racism when blacks do it)
As poverty and unemployment explodes and is exacerbated by the floods of
immigrants flooding in to escape the even more advanced Africanisation
of the rest of the country, the mobs turn on those they blame for
stealing their jobs, their homes, and their women.

Thus the cycle turns, and, like watching some barbaric version of "back
to the future", on the news we see exactly the same scenes we saw on our
televisions twenty years ago, wrecked buildings, burning vehicles, mobs
brandishing machetes, axes and knives hacking at everything and everyone
which comes within their reach. Most horrific of all, we see the return
of that most savage symbol of African brutality, the necklace where, to
the cheers of a blood thirsty crowd, some poor trembling soul, with a
tire around his neck, is dragged from his home and set alight, exactly
as all those other poor souls were set alight throughout the Apartheid
years, when we were told it was all the evil white man's fault.

As nothing else the return of the necklace exposes the failure of
Mandela's revolution, and those who fought for him should weep.

Under Apartheid, blacks and whites went to separate hospitals but they
received world class health care, whatever their colour, now the
facilities are collapsing or non-existent. Black children went to
different schools than white children, but they received an education,
something which is now a privileged luxury. When they grew up, their
bosses may have been white, but they had jobs and a living wage, as the
recent violence shows us, such security is but a memory for most South

Eighteen years after Nelson and Winnie made their historic walk towards
the cameras, and 14 years, since Mandela assumed power on a tide of
optimism, a once proud South Africa slides like a crumbling, crime
ridden, wreck towards a precipice created though greed, corruption and

For all his gleaming smiles, grandfatherly hand gestures, and folksy
sound bites, when the crowd cheered the retired terrorist in
the gaudy shirt, they would have done best not to focus too closely upon
his much admired legacy, as they might just find that the Xhosan Emperor
has no clothes. For Nelson Mandela's lasting achievement is that, in the
face of a world wishing him well, he, and the party he leads, have shown
the world that, for all its flaws, Apartheid was a more benign system
than what replaced it, and that the average South African was
immeasurably better off under the hated white rule than they are under
the alternative which black rule has created.

That is quite an achievement, even for a living legend.


Absurd speeding ticket


Noah in the Year 2008

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in South
Africa, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another
Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
- but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is
the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for
a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the
neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the height limitations. We had to go to the Metro Council for a decision.

Then ESKOM demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving
power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for
the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to
us, but they would hear nothing of it. And with all the power cuts every
two hours, how do you expect me to finish the Ark in time?

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the
balance of the local ecological system. I tried to convince them that I
needed the wood to save us all from extinction - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. They
insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion
of the Ark to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea
would be coming to my back yard. They threatened to have me committed.

Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your
proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the BEE group on how many
affirmative action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
The Department of Home Affairs has insisted that I provide them with a
list of the people who want to work so that they can check that they are
not from the non-designated group. COSATU say I can't use my sons.

They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, SARS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "I don't need to - the South African Government has
beaten me to it."


SA cellphone technology developments


Belly button jewellery: Sandton vs Brakpan

Anyone for Brakpan?


Light bulbs to be outlawed?

Incandescent lightbulbs will be outlawed in every home and building -
but not immediately, as the government accidentally ordered.

On Monday the Department of Minerals and Energy's deputy
director-general for electricity, Nelisiwe Magubane, confirmed that the
regulations on lighting were wrongly issued without giving time for the

"I think that was an oversight on our part and we will be issuing a
notice to that effect," said Magubane.

The regulations, gazetted in July, order that "energy-efficient fittings
must be used in all buildings except where a specific fitting is
required for some purpose and the nature of the purpose does not allow
an energy-efficient fitting".

The same section orders that street and highway lighting must be "energy
efficient" and licensees - municipalities and Eskom - must make sure
these are switched off during the day. Municipalities must be able to
switch off street lights remotely.

No date is specified, technically making these lighting regulations
effective immediately, instead of the 12- to 18-month delay planned.

The department wasn't aware of the error until asked about it by The Star.

Eskom sal dalk ondersoek word


Nando's vs. Eskom

Fwd: Nelson Mandela joke

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a mageu when
he hears a knock at the door.
When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a
clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.

Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man
starts to yell louder. "You Sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look, you´ve obviously got the wrong man", and
shuts the door.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the
little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts
his clipboard under Nelson´s nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

Mr. Mandela is getting a bit pissed off by now, so he pushes the little
Chinese man back, shouting, "Look, go away! Voetsek! You´ve got the
wrong man! I don´t want them!" Then he slams the door again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he
hears a knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a
clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson
Mandela loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his
shirt front and yells at him, "Look, I don´t want these! Do you
understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and
says, "You not Nissan Main Dealer?"


Advice for hooligans and other World Cup 2010 tourists...

What FIFA did not mention about 2010

Advice for 2010 tourists

Do not take your chances by breaking even the most trivial of laws in
South Africa.

Do not think a little hooliganism will land you in a comfy cell where
you will sleep it off, have a scrumptious breakfast then take a taxi to
the beach the next morning.

Drinking in public, or even dropping your candy wrapper, will get you
arrested and thrown into a very dark dirty cell were you WILL be raped
and assaulted by as many people as there may be in your communal cell,
and for as many hours are you are there.

Here some trivial drunken mischief will scar you for life and almost
guarantee you an Aids death sentence. Forget about your basic human
rights, your one telephone call or any assistance from warders or police
when you scream for help.

The condom that is issued to you on your arrival at the cells is not for
your pleasure, but for one of the 30 men that will rape you. I would
strongly advise that you consider where, and how much you drink as this
could alter your life forever.

More at








Clearly no South Africans work for NASA...

See also http://home.arcor.de/hmvh/2005/435.htm

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