Fwd: Malema went out for drinks...

Malema went out for drinks with some of the ministers.

After a few hours of drinking Malema calls the waiter to bring the bill:

Malema       R400
Cele             R250
Mbalula       R450
Vavi             R200
TOTAL        R1300

Malema says, "Hai man! I will pay for everyone else, but Total must
pay for himself! I didn't invite him. Plus he owns a lot of garages
all over the country. He has enough money!"


[Fwd: Piece work]

Nothing interesting happened to me this past holiday...

...but after we returned, my garden boy, of many years, had taken two
weeks holiday, as was the norm.

This of course meant that I had to mow the lawn myself!

So on Saturday I was cutting the lawn on our verge, in my oldest PT
pants and T shirt before I cut the main lawn.

I was in a hurry but wanted to do a decent job, and was not keen on
having any garden boy do it for me on this occasion, and still have to
teach him how I wanted it cut.

But as always, when you DON'T need any help, all the help in the world
is there for you.

Constant appeals as every one who passes by wants to know if you have
some "piece work" for him.

When the fourth one appeared, with his hands in his pockets, and asked
if I had some piece work for him, the conversation went something like

HIM: "Baas, I knows how to cut him the grass, mays I cut it for yoos?"

ME: "Sorry man, I don't stay here, I just work for the people who stay

HIM: "Hau, the peoples here employs a whitey in da garden?"

ME: "Yes, and they don't even give me any food at lunchtime!"

End of the story is, he takes out his packet of Kent Cigarettes, and
offers me one.

I took one and he lit it for me, I took about three drags, and nipped
the cigarette and stuck it behind my ear.

As he walks away, I hear him mumbling, "Yisslaaik, the ANC haff really
come and fucked up everything!!"

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