For Frequent Flyers....

New SAA Menu - Joburg / London Route

Welcome on board this London-Heathrow service, we trust you will enjoy being up
high with us.

Your highly trained cabin crew are here to make your journey more comfortable
and make sure your experience is sky-high.

From the bar:

  • Coke with ice
  • Coke light with ice
  • Coke Zero with ice
  • Coke with a straw


A traditional Colombian Coco-leaf salad drizzled with a light heroin mayonnaise.

Main Course:

  • Opium Omelette with mushrooms
  • Hash-ish Browns
  • Marijuana Mousse
  • Deep fried Dope

A selection of dagga tea (please save the tea bag for drying and use/sale in London)

If you require any of the recipes or dry ingredients kindly press the service bell and
the cabin crew will gladly be able to trade with you as well as pack your suitcase.

Please note no inflight entertainment will be provided as it is not needed after the
above menu.

After arrival at Heathrow please make sure you leave your baggage behind and
use the fast-track exit.

Once you have our new menu you will realize why you need a visa for the UK.


Pensioner murdered for his microwave


Hot Water -- African style



A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her
right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."

He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at
a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool when he got up off of his towel,
climbed up to the 10-metre board and did two and a half tuck, followed
by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened
out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel..

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you
we'd learn more about each other as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After
seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel,
and was hardly out of breath.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No," she said, "I was a prostitute in Vereeniging, but I worked both
sides of the Vaal."


Oppas vir slaggate


Needles, bloodied bandages and body parts

Rotting bits of human body parts, dripping with blood and infested with
flies …

The stench is unbearable.

This is the scene that greets you at Phambili Wasteman in Springfield,
south of Joburg.

There are hundreds of barrels, some dumped in the sun and some in a
large warehouse.

Barrels with used needles lie uncovered, there are bags with bloodied
bandages, and plastic containers with body parts.

Both in the warehouse and the outdoor area, there is evidence of fresh
and dried blood on the floor.

All is covered by humming flies.

Some truck drivers and workers have told The Star they can no longer
work under such conditions where human parts, syringes and old bandages
lie around for two weeks before being incinerated.

According to the law, anatomical waste has to be refrigerated and
incinerated within 24 hours, or 90 days if stored at minus 2ºC; and
infectious waste has to be burnt within 72 hours; needles, scalpels and
blades within 30 days; and pharmaceuticals within 30 days.

Staffer Marcus Ross said the conditions were so bad, and the smell of
rotting human bodies so potent, it had "penetrated my skin and my body".

"I go home at night and smell so bad that my wife makes me sleep in
another room. It is not right that human body parts are treated in this

Ross said they were not issued with proper safety equipment such as
gloves, and "our people have been pricked many times, putting us at risk
of Aids".

Because the company was experiencing problems with its incinerator in
Klerksdorp, the human tissue and other medical waste were only taken
there every two weeks.

On its website, Phambili Wasteman Group says it was founded in 1980 and
is a South African company "partly owned through an international
structure by Suez Environment".

It claims to be "the largest contractor to Gauteng provincial hospitals
for the management of healthcare risk waste (also known as medical
waste)" and to be "strictly guided by SABS code 0248 and other
international codes of practice".

Gauteng's chief operations director, Patrick Maduna, said he did not
know why private operators were collecting human tissue, as all
hospitals had their own incinerators for human tissue.

David Borole, the province's deputy director of waste management, said
he had "an axe to grind with Phambili as they were not delivering a good
service anymore".

Text and cellphone messages left for Phambili director Vincent Charnley
had not been replied to by late on Sunday.

* *This article was originally published on page 2 of **The Star*
<http://www.thestar.co.za/>* on February 23, 2009 *


Picture of Joost with hooker!!

Were you expecting something else?


Twin Savers -- because there are times when even a man must cry

Twee rooikop kinders

'n Baie lawaaierige, onaantreklike, vet, hardegesig en onversorgde vrou
met curlers in die hare en 'n Lexington in die hoek van haar mond, stap
in die plaaslike FNB tak met haar twee rooikopkinders agterna.
Sy skree die heeltyd op hulle.
'Goeiedag en welkom by FNB', groet die Service Advisor. 'Oulike
kinders wat jy het, is hulle 'n tweeling?'
Die vet, lelike vrou spoeg haar Lexington uit en gluur hom aan. 'Hoe de
donner kan hulle 'n fokken tweeling wees as die een nege is en die ander
sewe? Wat de moer laat jou ĂȘnniewhei dink dat hulle 'n tweeling is?
Dink jy wragtag hulle lyk eenders, jou dikkop idioot?'
'Nee, glad nie,' antwoord die Service Advisor vriendelik. 'Ek kan net
nie glo dat iemand jou twee keer sou spyker nie.'


In South Africa, we don't grab the bull by the horns...

...we grab lions by their balls!


Do you remember?

Takes you back a few years!

Good old SABC

Back to shool?

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