Nederlands - so 'n MOOI taal..

Opfok beteken "grootmaak" of "groei" in Nederlands!
Ek soek sommer 'n klomp sakke - ek ken vir 'n hele paar mense wat ek wil

One taxi, one driver - and 112 passengers


Selfoon vs posduif

Jan en Piet is moeg vir selfone en gebruik posduiwe.
Jan stuur vir Piet 'n duif sonder 'n nota.
Piet stuur terug "Wa's die nota?"
Jan: "Ai jou dom aap, dis 'n missed call!"

Kaapse humeur

Gamat sit in sy garage waar hy die laaste goed moet ontruim en bepeins sy lot.
Hy't sy huis verloor, sy werk verloor en sy vrou het die kinders gevat
en hom geskei.
Hy sien 'n kas met wynbottels en loop soontoe.
Hy vat 'n lee bottel, smyt dit teen die muur en skel: 'Djy issie
reason lat ekkie 'n vrou hettie!'
Hy vat 'n tweede bottel: 'Djy issie reason lat ekkie kinners hettie!'
Derde bottel: 'Djy issie reason lat ekkie 'n job hettie!'
Vierde bottel: 'Djy issie reason lat ekkie 'n huis hettie!'
Hy vat die vyfde bottel en sien dis nog nie oopgemaak nie - vol wyn.
Hy sit die bottel saggies neer en sê: 'Staan djy eers eenkant toe, my
broe. Ek sien djy wassie involved nie' .

Stolen Golf recovered!

Burgled nine times this year!

By Nondumiso Mbuyazi

While many South Africans have been victims of crime at some point in
their lives, not many can say they have been burgled nine times in less
than six months.
With people complaining about the high level of crime, a frustrated
Durban man has more reason than most to feel hard done by: his house has
been burgled nine times since the beginning of the year. To add insult
to injury, Chad Delport, 36, of Glenwood, said nobody had been arrested,
although he had reported all the incidents.
The fed-up businessman said thugs first broke into his house in January.
The latest burglary took place on May 23.
Delport said the burglars had stolen everything, from his laptop,
cellphone, camera, home theatre system, lawnmower and jewellery. "They
took all the tools I use for my business and all my clothes. I have to
continually replace all the things that have been stolen, and that means
I'm working at a loss," he said.
Delport said the criminals were using the vacant land adjacent to his
house to gain entry to his property.
"They climb over the fence and do as they please. They even come in
during broad daylight, as some of my neighbours have seen them," he said.
He recently installed sensors at the back of his kitchen door. "The
sensors cost a fortune, but I'm doing everything possible to ensure
these guys stay away from my home," he said, adding that he might put up
an electric fence.
Delport had been abroad for 15 years. He moved back to this country four
years ago to start his business.
"Of all the countries that I have lived in, I have never experienced
anything like this. I moved back to the country because my father was
sick, and I just missed the country. I wanted to be patriotic and
contribute towards bettering the country, and as a businessman I wanted
to offer job opportunities to people who were unemployed. And this is
the thanks I get," said an incensed Delport.
He said he had reported all the incidents to the police, but it all
seemed to be in vain.
Police spokesperson Inspector Michael Read said they were aware of all
the cases, adding they were still investigating. Read said Delport
should take necessary precautions to ensure his home was not a target
for criminals.
"Police will also be doing regular patrols around that area to ensure
that such incidents are a thing of the past. We are also trying to trace
the owner of the vacant land to ask him to fence it off," said Read.

* *This article was originally published on page 7 of **Daily News*
<http://www.dailynews.co.za/>* on June 25, 2009 *

19 Hours ago Anonymous wrote :
Over a year ago we were victims of an armed robbery at work. CCTV
footage gives clear views of faces and vehicles. The SAPS have not, to
my knowlege, even viewed the footage. About 2 weeks ago the business
upstairs from us had the same experience. This in a "SECURE" office

20 Hours ago JR wrote :
A local police reservist on the West rand has had 17 burgalaries and was
shot 7 times. The police did not even pick up the shell casings, he did
when he recovered, gave them to the police and they have disappeared and
still the police have not taken a statement. Some police are honest and
hard working but there are a number and the Security industry estimates
that 18% are not honest and are in fact criminals. This also applies to
the Private Security industry. So question is that we have the watchers
watching us to "keep us safe" but who is watching the watchers?


Son bak

Al ooit gehoor van "sit in die son en ballas bak"?

Ontmoet die oorspronklike stigterslid daarvan!


Egypt deny sex link to Confed Cup robbery

A war of words has erupted between the Egyptian football team and
authorities in South Africa over the circumstances in which members of
the Egyptian team were robbed, following their Confederations Cup win
over Italy.
On Friday members of the Egyptian said they had returned to their hotel
rooms after their historic 1-0 win over Italy at Ellis Park in
Johannesburg to find thieves had made off with $2 400 (about R19 500) of
their cash.
The incident made international headlines amid persistent concerns over
high crime rates in South Africa in the run-up to the 2010 World Cup.
But two South African Sunday newspapers gave a different version of
events. The Sunday Independent and City Press quoted police sources as
alleging the players had fallen foul of light-fingered female consorts
at an impromptu victory party.
"We have reason to believe that they brought the women onto the premises
and were celebrating with them before they were robbed of their money,"
the Independent quoted a senior policeman as saying.


Saving Fare

Effects of the recession... how to save taxi fare!!!




Sign language


Hijacked car driven to wedding, court hears

Hours after hijacking a car and killing a Gillitts resident, the
hijackers used the stolen vehicle to attend a wedding at Gingindlovu in
This was heard during the trial of one of the alleged hijackers in the
Durban High Court on Monday.
Jennifer-Rae Hall, 22, a beauty therapist from Winston Park, was shot
and killed and her friend, Kate Flemming, wounded when they were
hijacked at Amanzimtoti on June 14 last year.
Amy Lansdell, who was also in the car, was uninjured in the incident.
The white VW Polo the women were travelling in was stolen by the hijackers.
Sifundo Mkhize, 23, of Illovo township near Amanzimtoti, is on trial on
charges of murder, attempted murder and robbery with aggravating
circumstances. He pleaded not guilty on Monday.
Defence advocate Thiagaraj Pillay said Mkhize did not know how to drive.
However, one of Mkhize's friends, Sduduzo Madida, who testified for the
State, said he saw Mkhize and another man in a white VW Polo on that day.
"When they came to me, the car was driven by the accused… I had (also)
seen him driving cars before that day."
Flemming testified: "As Jennifer-Rae was reversing out of the parking
lot, a man came to the driver's window with a gun and fired the gun."
She said it was only after the car was driven away that she saw Hall
lying underneath the bus shelter. The trial continues today.

This article was originally published on page 1 of The Mercury
<http://www.themercury.co.za/>* on June 09, 2009 [summarised]

My new address for speeding fines

Dear Metro Police...

It would be highly appreciated it if my fines could be sent to my new
address below.



'n Coloured maak 'n plan

An old man lived alone in Cape Town . He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Clemence, who used to
help him, was in Polsmoor Prison. The old man wrote a letter to his
son and described his predicament.
"Dear Clemence, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to
be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be
over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Papa, For heaven's sake, Papa, don't dig up that garden, that's
where I buried the BODIES. Love, Clemence"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, the Scorpion Unit, NIA agents and local
police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologised to the old man and left. That same day the old man
received another letter from his son.
"Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could
do under the circumstances. Love Clemence."

No f**king dumping!


Benoni Braai Pack

Bring & Braai


Nurses 'drink tea while mom gives birth'

Laughed at and then threatened with physical violence by a group of
nurses, a Pretoria mother was forced to give birth unaided before she
was chased from a clinic.

The mother, who declined to be named for fear of reprisals from nurses
at Soshanguve Clinic, gave birth to a healthy baby boy last Sunday.

The 34-year-old woman was one of three women who gave birth without
assistance at the clinic that day.

One of the infants was believed to be in grave danger after his
umbilical cord wrapped around his neck during delivery, with his mother,
bleeding from complications, having to free him on her own while nurses
at the Soshanguve Community Health Centre in Block BB sat back, watched
and "drank tea".

The startling revelation comes days after the Pretoria News revealed how
Fanie Jansen van Vuuren, who had his colon removed because of cancer
last year, lay in his own faeces for nearly three days in Steve Biko
Academic Hospital last week after follow-up operations allegedly went
awry, with nurses ignoring his pleas for help.

The latest disclosure on the shocking state of government hospitals in
Tshwane comes as the Department of Health is beset by a lack of
resources and cash to procure food and medical supplies needed for patients.

The Pretoria News has learnt that after the woman's mother alerted her
employer, who visited the clinic last week to question the clinic's
staff, the new mother was threatened days later by nurses when she took
her baby to the clinic for a check-up.

"If they don't want to work as nurses then they should not be in the
profession," she said.

She added she had gone to get answers and to see for herself what was
happening at the clinic.

"They were very apologetic about their colleagues' behaviour, but I am
not the one they should have apologised to," she said.

She said one of the sisters told her the reason the incident happened
was that the clinic was understaffed and had "too many patients",
rendering it unable to provide a proper service.

"While I understand this, it is unacceptable because the nurses were
apparently not busy, but sitting around and having tea."

She said: "When I asked one of them why they were not helping the
mothers at the clinic, one of the nurses grabbed me, saying she would
slap me.

"She told me to never come back and said I must find another clinic.
When I told her that was the closest clinic to my house, she said she
would "get me" if I came back.

"When I was in labour and asked for help, three of the nurses laughed at
me and told me to do it myself. They said I had got myself into the
situation, and must get out of it."

This article was originally published on page 1 of **Pretoria News*
<http://www.pretorianews.co.za/>* on June 01, 2009 (summarised)

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