2011-10-19

[Fwd: This is why we don't speak Dutch in SA]

2011-10-08

[Fwd: Certified and declared]

2011-10-05

[Fwd: South African Speed limit...]

3 Roadside workers
1 Pole
1 Road sign

Speed limit?

("Slow, workers" -- or "slow workers"?)

[Fwd: We need proof!]

Julius Malema walks into an FNB bank and asks to cash a cheque for R2000.

Teller: "No problem Sir. Could you please show me your ID."?

Malema: "Well, I didn't bring my ID with me as I didn't think there
was any need. After all, I am the President of the ANC Youth League."

Teller: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, I must
insist on seeing ID."

Malema: "Just ask anyone here who I am and they will tell you. They all
know who I am."

Teller: "I am sorry, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Malema: "Is there some other way around this?"

Teller: "Look, here's what we can do: a while ago now, Casta Semenia
walked into the bank without ID. To prove she was Casta she ran around
the block in under 8 seconds.

Another time, Francois Pienaar came in without ID. He yanked out his
rugby ball and kicked it just under 300m right into Nedbank's yard.
After that spectacular kick we cashed his cheque.

So, what can you do to prove to me that you are really who you say you are?"

Malema stands, deep in thought for what seems like minutes then finally
says: "My mind's a complete blank. Honestly, I can't think of a single
thing..."

Teller: "Would fifties be OK, sir?"

2011-10-02

[Fwd: David Bullard's article on Malema]

AN EARLY WARNING WAKE UP CALL FOR US ALL!!


The antics of Julius Malema may be good for a laugh now, but they
remind me of the early days of Idi Amin.

Young JuJu is already allowed to travel in a car with no number plates
with no fear of prosecution.

He refuses to give answers to the media as to how he acquired such
wealth in such a short time, and he may even enjoy special status with
the Receiver of Revenue.

In the face of overwhelming evidence that he's a sleazebag, the ruling
party remain silent. Perhaps they have their own plans for JuJu, but
maybe they are quietly chuckling to themselves and saying "that's my
boy". If it's the latter then we really are up shit creek without a
paddle.

We will look back on 2010 not as the year we hosted the FIFA World Cup,
but as the year the cancer that destroyed the country was first detected
and identified.

We've had some low lifes before and many of them from the ANCYL, but
Malema's combination of stupidity, greed and arrogance plus his
willingness and ability to lie with a straight face make him a man to be
feared.

We may be chortling at his antics now but we won't be laughing when his
goons start kicking in the heads of his political enemies.

If JuJu wants something, JuJu gets it, so there'll be no argument about
the nationalisation of the mines - whatever JZ may have said to Gordon
Brown.

It won't be JZ's government any more so it will have been no lie for
him to say that "my government have no plans to nationalise the mines".

Things change quickly in Africa and a verbal contract isn't worth the
paper it's written on as Sam Goldwyn once said.

And the media won't fare too well either. JuJu will by that time have
declared himself emperor for life, and will be throwing huge parties and
feeding the likes of Stephen Grootes and Justice Malala to his pet lions
- and videoing it for YouTube.

If you think Malema is a joke look at his supporters. Are they livid
that he has bilked the poor and lives a life of luxury? Of course not.
To them he is the man who, along with people like Jimmy Manyi, is
finally going to put the whites in their place.

These are the chaps whose destiny it is to foment racial hatred.

It's only a matter of time before white bank accounts will be frozen
and redistributed to the needy. The argument will be typical Malema
logic... you can't need the money if you leave it in the bank earning
interest.

Whites will not be allowed to leave anything to their descendants and
white businesses will need to be black owned. No sorry... my mistake...
we already have that one don't we?

Rather like the Jews before World War 2, whites will look back and
wonder why they never saw it coming. Well, they probably did but they
were too timid to speak out for fear of being labeled racists.

2011-10-01

[Fwd: Simple logic]

Dear Mr Malema and ANCYL members,


I would like the opportunity to ask you some simple questions regarding
your struggle for economic freedom. At the moment, I am failing to see
how your actions are in the long term interests of South Africa.

Please enlighten me by addressing the following points:


Mines

At the moment, mines contribute roughly 8% to total GDP. I do not
understand why you are so fixated on nationalising this rather small
portion of the nation's wealth and causing significant amounts of
political uncertainty in the process.

The services sector constitutes 66% of GDP. Therefore it seems logical
that short term economic freedom lies in a friendly service mentality
and functional literacy. When compared to the mines, 8 times more
wealth lies in this direction. Unfortunately, however, I do not really
get an impression of a friendly service mentality and functional
literacy from your present membership.


Farms

Your calls for expropriation of land without compensation have badly
polarized society. What are your reasons for this seemingly
thoughtless act? Agriculture contributes about the same to GDP as
mining, so there is not much economic freedom to be gained here
either.

Also consider that history has shown land redistribution to result in
productive farms going to ruin and the black recipients selling the
land back to the original white owners. This affects every citizen of
South Africa in terms of food prices and food security. How do you
plan to address this problem?


Education

Ninety-nine per cent of whites do not own any farms or mines. Yet, on
average, white people earn 8 times more than black people. Why? White
people have an eight times higher ability to earn, to add value. This
ability to earn comes from education, an excellent work ethic and a
willingness to serve. I am convinced that this is the only route to
economic freedom. Why are you not influencing the youth of the nation
in this direction?

Your mother body, the ANC, has produced an education system that has
been proven to only educate one out of every 29 black learners to a
level of functional literacy. Seeing the crucial importance of
education, why do you not demand better government performance instead
of nationalization and expropriation?


Compensation

I can understand that you feel aggrieved with the situation that
apartheid has left you with and therefore demand compensation from
white people. However, on average, each white person already supports
around five blacks by means of social grants, RDP housing and free
services. By doing this, white people give you a fair chance to make
something of your life by taking care of your basic livelihood. What
more can we do?

Would you be satisfied if all white people were just as poor as
blacks? Do you want every white person to leave South Africa? Please
consider that both these options will remove significantly more than
half of the nation's wealth, while keeping the population roughly the
same. The poor will remain unemployable, but there will be no funds
for any kind of state support – no housing and basic services,
dangerous shortages in food and water, no public healthcare and no
affordable schooling. Is this what you want?


In closing

If you can intelligently answer these questions, I will be more than
willing to listen. If, however, you cannot, one has to conclude that
you are doing the country and its youth a terrible disservice and the
loss of an entire generation of South Africans has to rest squarely on
your shoulders.

Regards,
Schalk

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