Sandton vs. Brakpan vs. Katlehong

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Sandton: You drive an Audi A5.

Brakpan: You drive a Corsa with BMW M3 mirrors (and tinted windows,
dropped suspension, those spiff blue lights underneath the car, and
go-faster stripes).

Katlehong: You drive a Hi-Ace that also boasts tinted windows that
prevent anyone noticing the extra seats which allow you to seat an
additional eight passengers.

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Sandton: You go shopping in Paris.

Brakpan: You go shopping in Germiston.

Katlehong: You go "affirmative shopping" in Sandton, Rosebank and
Woodmead. At night.

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Sandton: You have a security guard at your front gate.

Brakpan: You work as a security guard in Sandton.

Katlehong: You know the security guards in Brakpan and Sandton.

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Sandton: You love Cognac.

Brakpan: You smaak Klippies.

Katlehong: You love anything alcoholic with your Chicken-Licken.

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Sandton: You listen to Andrea Bocelli.

Brakpan: You listen to Bomfunk MCs and Fokofpolisiekar.

Katlehong: You listen to Pitch Black Afro and Zola.

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Sandton: "Excuse me, but what do you think you are doing?"

Brakpan: "Hey, china... Ek moer jou."

Katlehong: "Eiish... voetsek!"

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Sandton: You smoke Cuban cigars!

Brakpan: You smoke whatever you buy behind the Casbah Roadhouse on a
Friday night.

Katlehong: You smoke the finest your friends bring from Swaziland.

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Sandton: Your shoes are hand-made in Italy.

Brakpan: Your shoes are hand-made in Springs.

Katlehong: Your shoes are handmade in a Chinese sweatshop and sport
famous, recognisable logos.

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Sandton: Ballroom dancing.

Brakpan: Windsurfing (lang-arm).

Katlehong: Toy-toying during a strike or protest.

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Sandton: You fly first class.

Brakpan: You fly from whatever you buy behind the Casbah Roadhouse on
Friday night.

Katlehong: You're terrified of flying but have emptied several clips at
planes just after take-off.

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Sandton: Your wife is 36-24-34.

Brakpan: Your wife is 36-24-34 - and her other leg is just as big!

Katlehong: Your wives are 48-36-54.

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Sandton: Fireplace in the lounge.

Brakpan: Cadac in the kitchen.

Katlehong: Open fire in any room.

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Sandton: You meet your girlfriend at a celebrity fundraiser.

Brakpan: You meet your meisie behind the Casbah Roadhouse on a
Friday night.

Katlehong: You meet your skweezas at the nearest shebeen.

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Sandton: Monaco Grandprix Circuit.

Brakpan: Rainbow Drag Strip (where Nissan 1400 bakkies are faster than
the new Williams prototype).

Katlehong: Rush-hour races along Heidelberg Road or the Golden Highway.

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Sandton: Blu-Ray. Plasma. HDTV.

Brakpan: Sê weer?

Katlehong: Your Blu-Ray. Your plasma. Your DStv. My shack.

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