#437: South Africa: The Canadian immigrant


There's this Canadian man, and he's so fed up with all the ice and snow
that he decides to emigrate to a warmer climate.

So he packs his possessions into his car, straps his skis onto the roof,
and he decides to drive until someone asks him what his skis are. The
man figures that if people don't know what skis are, then there's little
chance of it being as cold and miserable as in Canada.

So off he goes. He drives and drives. He drives the whole way through
the States, right down through South America - yet nobody asks him what
his skis are. So he puts his car on a ship, and sails up to Asia.

He drives right through Asia - and nobody asks his what the skis are.

He continues driving through Europe, and then down through Africa -
but still nobody asks him what his skis strapped to the car's roof are!

Eventually he arrives at a petrol station outside Pietersburg, and the
attendant asks him "How, Baas, what is that on your roof?"

At long last! His quest is over, and in the next week he buys a house
from a nice family who are emigrating to Australia. He writes home to
his family, gives them his new address and tells them to sell everything
and come and join him in Pietersburg immediately. Unfortunately, with
the South Africa postal system being what it is, it takes several months
for the letter to arrive in Canada; but as soon as the family do get it,
they sell up everything and catch the first flight over to South Africa.

However, when they arrive at the address given in the letter, the
house is deserted. Everything which wasn't nailed down, (and quite
a few things that were) have been stolen, and several squatters have
taken up residence in the front garden.

While the family is standing around looking rather lost and confused,
they notice one of the neighbours enjoying a braai around the pool.
They call the neighbour over (they can't walk up to him because of the
electric fencing and the four rottweilers) and ask him if he knows what
had become of the Canadian who used to live next door.

"Ag well, you see," says the neighbour, "he lived there for about a
month and then one day, he packed some stuff into his car and just
drove off, and we haven't seen him since. And the strangest thing is,
when he drove off, he had a black man strapped to the roof of his car!"


[From the archives]

One settler - one bulletin board!



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