#441: South Africa: The Affirmative ATM Experience

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1. Take out card.
2. Turn around to look at queue of already exasperated faces.
3. Insert card wrong way around.
4. Take out card.
5. Insert card wrong way up.
6. Take out card.
7. Try to force card in.
8. With assistance of helpful white hands, eventually insert card.
9. Cannot remember PIN number.
10. Machine spews out card.
11. Repeat steps 1-8.
12. Enter PIN number wrongly.
13. Repeat steps 1-8.
14. Enter PIN number.
15. Try to read instructions.
16. Time up; machine spews out card.
17. Repeat steps 1-14.
18. Follow instructions; hit wrong keys.
19. Repeat steps 1-18.
20. Look back at freaked-out queue with look of "don't mess with me,
I'm on African time" (x5).
21. Punch in "Withdraw R25,00".
22. Repeat steps 1-20.
23. Punch in "Withdraw R50,00".
24. Wrong account / account empty.
25. Step out of line to scrutinise card for long time.
26. Return at midnight with buddies to carry off ATM.

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[From the archives]

I visited South Africa and all I got was robbed.

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