#443: South Africa: Newspaper headlines from the year 2000

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Heard about the Winnebago driver who put on the cruise control so he can
go into the back and make a cup of coffee, and then won a million bucks
from the manufacturer when it crashed? Of course you have, and it's
a BOGUS story! Heard about the old woman who sued McDonalds after she
spilled hot coffee over herself? Yes, that's a true story! Her name is
Stella Liebeck, and now there's a book featuring all similarly idiotic
cases of libel! Order it from http://www.stellaawards.com/book.html


We all know how newspaper editors and writers sensationalise what in
reality is a fairly mundane snippet of information. Headlines are often
purposely written in such a manner so as to incite emotion, if not just
some sort of curiosity, simply to attract a potential customer.
However, not unlike rumours and urban legends, there is usually an
interpretation of truth in the simple term referred to as a "headline",
making one wonder about the story behind that phrase.

What we have here are headlines - collected during the latter part of
the year 2000, and as seen posted on signboards, lamp posts, and traffic
lights (or "robots", if you will).

This is not only the bad news.
I have included the most interesting and amusing ones (well, to me,
at least!), and that includes good news too (at least there is some).

Items are listed chronologically [personal comments in brackets]:

5726 cops face criminal charges
Argus cyclist slain
Pitbull victim dies
FIFA fever banned
Snake threat for sex girls [I won't go there!]
Plan for social security
1000+ years for killer
Woman sought after cut penis [our own Ms. Bobbitt]
2 kids suffocate in fridge
SA Aids policy baffles world experts [much of SA baffles everyone!]
More cops for killer highway
Million won on TV: Pic
Crime boss found in shallow grave
Car chase in city wipes out family
Scores arrested in city crime blitz
Boys (11) take guns to school
Missile stolen from SANDF
Disco deaths: Revenge feared
ET goes to jail [did he get his phone call?]
Cops nab highway rock gang [rock throwers, not musicians]
Shock at fuel price increase [what did they expect - praise?]
City cops win case against mayor
Woman pulls plane
D-day for ET
R2,6-M for sacked official
Floods cost SA billions
R187 to fill a Corolla
Lottery heads for R12-M
Cop on shooting spree
Garages brace for fuel rush
6,000 at Bles funeral
Doctor killed for cellphone [what will doctors will kill for next -
Porsche woman abducted
Woman's body parts hidden in freezer
Taxi fare shock
Mugabe legalises land grab
Editor charges minister
CIA warns Aids could kill off SA Elite [but only the rapists in power]
Brutal killings at city store
Mentally ill woman dies in cell
Teens in sex for sale shock
Stolen car traced to cop's home
Lotto winner in hiding
Oh, Hansie!
Cronje faces 4 years in jail
Security car mows down 5 women
Mom sells girl for R100
Woman stabbed 24 times
Zim farmer slain
"White farmers are our enemies"
Match-fix fever hits soccer
5 years for stealing dishcloth
Pretoria crash carnage
New sex laws
Hi-tech loafing at work [where are YOU reading this now?]
Heroic prisoner saves cop's life
Rapists jailed for 100 years
Pointless to shout at Mugabe - Mbeki
UFO balls: NASA to pay for damages
E-mail virus causes havoc
Rand climbs back from R7 a Dollar
Schools to teach self-defense
10 killed in taxi crash
PUTCO roadworthy shock
16 years for raping daughter
Court told of plot to kill ANC leaders
Mayor fakes death for money
Police shoot as schoolkids run riot [back to 1976...]

Not much has changed. Here we have a few headlines from 2005...

Kids burn grandpa to death
Pregnant woman axed to death
Woman raped three times
Shoot-out at Sandton hotel


[Partially from the private archives, and elsewhere]

"That's the trouble with reality - it's taken far too seriously"
Celebrate - An Emotional Fish, 1990



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