Fwd: Noah in 2010

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in South
Africa, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.  Build another Ark
and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I
will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no Ark.  "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "But things have changed. First, I found
that I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about
the need for a sprinkler system at numerous lunch-meetings.

My neighbours claimed that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
go to the Metro Council for a decision, -- only at their next
Break-away session!

Then ESKOM demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power
lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they
would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of
the local ecological system.  I tried to convince them that I needed the
wood to save us all from extinction - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. They insisted
that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so
many animals in a confined space.

The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of
the ark to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea would be
coming to my back yard. The Metro Police threatened to have me committed.

Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your
proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the BEE group on how many
affirmative action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

The Department of The Internal Affairs has insisted that I provide
them with a list
of the people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from
the non designated group. COSATU say I can't use my sons. They insist I have
to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, SARS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord,
but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not
going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The SA Government has beaten me to it."


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