FIFA vs. the world

Now the impostors – as a French newspaper dubbed their team – have
collapsed in a scandalous frenzy of infighting, training strikes,
insubordination and resignations, and even the French media are rooting
for a Bafana Bafana victory today. One can only wonder if FIFA still
thinks rigging the game to make sure the arguing cheats got to South
Africa was better than being honest and welcoming an Irish team to the
big time. I live in the town where the French team stays, and I have yet
to meet someone who wouldn't have preferred to host the Irish,
especially after the French tried to avoid the crowd who were out in a
chilly dawn to welcome them, and had to be turned back by police towards
the crowd-lined main road, only to whine about the amenities at the
town's most luxurious resort hotel.

While all this has been going on, FIFA has kept itself occupied with
hunting down criminals in South Africa.

People like Bongani Sithole, a part-time employee of the South African
Football Association, who happened to have a pair of complimentary
tickets and offered them to a desperate fan for a fee. He was arrested,
and the tickets confiscated, until a court found that he had contravened
neither any law, nor the terms and conditions of the tickets. The
hopeful buyer never did get to see the match.

Like Rodos Ioannides, a Bloemfontein coffee shop owner, who is in
trouble for using the acronym "FIFO", a well-known term for "First-In,
First-Out". The products he promotes cost R20.10. This price, it would
appear, is illegal.

Innocent fans entering stadiums are searched by SAPS officers, under the
direction of FIFA officials, to confiscate illegal clothes, folding
umbrellas and handbags of criminal size. On the orders of FIFA, our own
police stands ready to arrest our own citizens, should they be suspected
of infringing the Byzantine laws our new masters have imposed.

The 56 special FIFA courts, staffed by 110 magistrates, 260 prosecutors,
93 foreign language interpreters, 110 local language interpreters, 1 140
court officials and 327 court orderlies who usually just laze around our
regular courts all day, has heard 18 cases to date, reports Mail &
Guardian journalist Lionel Faull. He notes that with a total budget of
R45 million, this works out to R1.75 million for each of the eight
convictions. Our FIFA magistrates, naturally, have a lot of time to
follow the football, and can credibly call it research, to boot.

Full article at
http://www.thedailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2010-06-22-i-ordered-an-orange-skirt