Bank Manager: Be careful, anyone can forge your signature.
Malema: I'm not a fool, I have already signed all the cheques!
Hy sukkel nog om 'n kliëntebasis op te bou en het gevra dat ek hom
help adverteer:
Koedoes ± R2000, rooibok ± R400, blesbok ± R500
Akkommodasie R280 per nag, drie etes per dag ingesluit.
Kontak hom by: jan.jagplaas@yahoo.co.za
P.S. Ek sluit besonderhede van sy twee spoorsnyers / veldgidse in.
(R70/dag ekstra)
The woman, who cannot be named as she has not appeared in court, was
arrested after she compared strikers to *baboons* and said they
intimidated people with their *grunting noises*. She did not participate
in the strike.
Warrant Officer Duane Lightfoot, of the Sunnyside police station,
confirmed that she had been arrested and said she was still in custody.
She will appear in the Pretoria Magistrate's court on Tuesday.
http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/woman-in-hot-water-over-baboon-ji
be-1.1105774
-------------
Since this is regarded a "racist" incident, it's safe to assume the
unnamed woman is white. Were she black or Indian, there'd likely be no
brouhaha.
Now, let's venture the far flung assumption of a bunch of white folks
going on strike and then leaving a mess behind. Should anyone calling
them "pigs" be considered a racist as well (irrespective whether that
person is black or white)?
South Africa is the only country in the world where affirmative action
is in the favour of the majority who has complete political control.
The fact that the political majority requires affirmative action to
protect them against a 9% minority group is testament to a complete
failure on their part to build their own wealth-producing structures --
so that their only solution is to take it from others.
She begged their attackers not to kill her husband while they were
trying to strangle him with her jersey and she was throttled and
repeatedly punched in the face while one of the intruders raped her.
This was the testimony of an 80-year-old woman on Monday in the Pretoria
High Court.
The dignified and composed woman pointed out her rapist in court, as
being accused number one, Vincent Ramatsoma, 34, of Mamelodi East.
He has admitted to the rape. He said in his explanation of plea that he
did have sex with the elderly woman on April 26, 2008, and that it was
his intention to rape her.
He is facing six charges, including murder, rape, robbery and various
charges of contravening the arms and ammunition act, together with his
two co-accused, Tshepo Bigboy Sekele, 28 and Ben Mmapeya, 26, also of
Mamelodi East.
Apart from Ramatsoma admitting to the rape, all three pleaded not guilty
to the charges.
Reliving the events of that night, the woman (who cannot be identified
as she is a rape victim) told Judge Bert Bam that she was in the kitchen
at about nine, washing dishes.
She thought she had locked the kitchen door, but it later appeared it
was not properly secured. She meanwhile went to join her husband in the
lounge, where he was watching television.
"The next moment I saw three men. One pushed me down on my chair and the
other two went to my husband.
"I was forced to take off my blouse and jersey while one of the
intruders tried to throttle me.
"I was pushed down on the floor and the other two tried to throttle my
husband with my jersey.
"I kept on asking them in Zulu not to hurt my husband."
The victim said one of the men tried to drag her towards the bedroom,
but she said she would walk. He then led her towards the bedroom. One of
the other intruders then came to the bedroom with an iron and some rope.
** He shouted at me that I am a boer and that he was going to burn me
and kill me. **
"He swore at me and swore at my dead mother, using the most terrible
language. I asked him whether he had a mother and a grandmother, but he
just laughed at me.
"He then told me to lie on the ground, but I refused. He pushed me on
the bed and pulled off my clothes, before he raped me.
"While raping me, he throttled me and repeatedly bashed me in the face
with his fist until I could no longer see through my eyes.
"He threw my clothes at me afterwards and told me to get dressed."
The victim said she was taken to the main bedroom, where she saw her
husband was tied to a chair.
The room was in disarray and the intruders climbed on top of her husband
on the chair, to get to the top of the cupboard.
They also emptied the safe of its firearms and took out her husband's
hunting knife.
"One of them tried to intimidate me by showing me the sharp blade."
They took her husband outside and tried to force him to get his car
started, but it had a battery problem.
When it did not start, they came to the woman to help them. She said she
advised them to push the car until it started.
"I again asked them not to kill my husband. They said they would not and
that they would tie him on the bed with me, which they did before they
left."
The woman said her husband had blood coming out of his ear and his
mouth. Apart from his broken dentures, it seemed he had not suffered any
other injuries.
But as the weeks went by, he became more and more disorientated and it
was eventually established that he had blood on the brain. He died three
months later.
The woman said her husband never recovered from the bad feeling arising
from the fact that he had taught women self defence during his life, but
that he could do nothing to protect her that day.
The case is proceeding. - Pretoria News
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the braai
Download - Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard - Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window - What you shut when it's cold
Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte - What mosquitoes do
Bit - What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte - What moerse big mosquitoes at the dam do
Chip - A bar snack
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix - Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Mouse Pad - Where the mouse takes the grain it does not eat
Mainframe - What holds the garden shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web Site - The shed (or under the veranda)
Cursor - The old toppie what swears a lot
Search Engine - What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo - What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade - A steep koppie
Server - The gentleman at the pub that brings out the lunch
Mail Server - The oke at the pub that brings out the lunch
User - The neighbour that keeps borrowing things
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape - When fish maneuvers out of reach of net
Online - When you get the laundry hung out
Offline - When the pegs don't hold the washing up
Seks is soos 'n payslip. Mens praat nie rerig daaroor nie, want dalk kry
die ander ou meer as jy!!
---------
Juffrou gee wiskunde. "Gertjie verstaan jy alles?"
"Sjoe juffrou, net so kol kol!"
"Watter kol verstaan jy nie, Gertjie?"
"Fokol juffrou, fokol!"
---------
'n Les uit geskiedenis: Rasse intergrasie is soos om kak en roomys te
meng. Dit doen niks regtig aan die kak nie, maar dit fok die roomys
heeltemal op!
---------
Wetenskap het bewys dat vrouens se wangspiere SO sterk is dat, as sy
dikbek is, hou dit selfs haar bene toe!!
---------
'n REGTE rassis is iemand wat 'n sebra skiet, en dan net biltong maak
van die wit stukke....
---------
Wat is die top punt van gesuip?
As jy oor die dansvloer loop vir nog n dop, en jy wen die singles dans
kompetisie!
---------
Dronk katoliek sit in biegkas (confession).
Na 'n baie lang stilte klop die priester om man se aandag te trek.
"Jy klop verniet!," skree dronkie terug, "hier is ook nie kakpapier nie!"
---------
Seuntjie van drie vrae aan sy ouma: "Ouma, is jy van karton gemaak?"
Ouma lag lekker en sê: "Haai nee my skat, hoekom vra jy dan nou vir Ouma
so?"
Seuntjie antwoord: "Want Pappa sê altyd Ouma is 'n regte ou doos."
---------
Geduld is 'n stadige manier om jou moer heeltemal te strip
Allegedly hijacked by police and driven around for hours before being
faced with execution, a Pretoria father of three is battling a year
later to get the SAPS to investigate the attack.
After spending thousands of rands, Piet Erasmus, 52, says he has done
more in the past few months in investigating his brush with death than
the police have done in the past year.
Erasmus was travelling to Polokwane in his Mercedes-Benz when he was
hijacked on the N1 near the Murrayhill Toll Plaza in January last year
by four men driving a marked police Golf GTI fitted with emergency
lights and a siren.
The men, who have not been caught, have, according to police, allegedly
been responsible for 100 such attacks on that stretch of highway.
Police have slammed Erasmus and his attorney, Delia de Vries, saying
they have not forgotten his case.
Hammanskraal police station spokeswoman Constable Mkvotso Mphenyeke said
although no arrests had been made, the case was being investigated.
"The car was recently found abandoned in Joburg and the complainant went
to identify it," she said.
Investigating officer Warrant Officer Hendrik Sebola said he was doing
everything in his power to catch the culprits. "Erasmus is one of 100
such victims of hijackings by these suspects. We are investigating all
these cases so we can catch these suspects, who we are not even sure are
real policemen.
"What we do know is that every time there is such an attack those who
carry out the hijackings are dressed like police."
De Vries and Erasmus believe that if the police were interested in the
attacks they could solve his case.
Erasmus said he was forced to stop after the police car raced up behind
him with its lights flashing and its siren on.
Getting out of the car, Erasmus was confronted by two men in police
uniform.
"They were armed with sidearms, wearing the SAPS uniform and reflector
vests with 'Police' written on them.
"Their vehicle had a siren and was fitted with blue lights on the roof,
dashboard and in the grille and it was marked with police insignia.
"The policemen told me that they were looking for a car that fitted my
vehicle's description.
"As I opened the boot two men in civilian clothes got out of the police
car. As they ran at me one of the policemen pulled out his gun and
shoved it into my ribs.
"One of the civilians grabbed my keys and drove off with my car.
"The policemen pushed me into their car and sped off with me."
After driving around for three hours the men eventually made Erasmus get
out of the car. With his hands tied behind his back, he was made to
kneel on the ground.
"When they took out their gun I thought that this was it."
Praying, Erasmus was saved when two teachers on their way to school
drove towards them, prompting the gunmen to flee.
Erasmus said he had waited for feedback from the police for months.
"No one came to me. I got so frustrated with their pathetic attitude
that I began my own investigation with the help of a police friend."
Gathering cellphone records for his SIM card, Erasmus began to trace his
attackers.
"I got documents, telephone numbers and other information. I phoned the
investigator, but he was not interested."
The final straw for Erasmus was when Gauteng Flying Squad members
recovered his car in Joburg in February.
"I got a call and went with the investigator to identify my car. I
immediately recognised it and when I opened it I found utility bills and
receipts inside.
"The investigator was not interested and when I confronted him he just
told me to take my car."
Determined to get justice, Erasmus continued with his own investigation.
"I found out where the utility bills were from, I discovered that the
businesses from where the receipts were from had CCTV footage of those
driving my car, but still the police were not interested.
"I don't understand it. How can they not be interested in evidence which
could help catch these thugs?
"It is clear that they are not interested in catching their own and
putting them behind bars, but I am and I will get justice."
De Vries, who has served a letter of demand on the Police Ministry,
said: "Police are paid to catch criminals, but they are not interested
in doing their jobs.
"One would think police would want to solve crimes, even if it means
turning on their own." - Pretoria News
http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/cops-fail-hijack-victims-1.1074695
(dated at least March 2001)
The scope of South Africa's exodus
Thousands of predominantly-white, young, skilled South Africans of all
persuasions, regions and professions are leaving the country each year
to settle in mainly Australia, New Zealand, Britain, the USA and Canada.
Official statistics suggest that just more than 8 200 people had
emigrated from South Africa during 1998, but due to an under-reporting
of between one-half and two-thirds, the unofficial total will have been
between 16 000 and 25 000. These latest emigrants joined the 550 000
emigrants who have officially left since 1945, in addition to the 500
000 to one million emigrants who may have left the country unofficially
during this period.
The real significance of this exodus can be found primarily not so much
in the sheer size of the exodus, even though it is large by any
standard, but in the fact that these emigrants represent a huge loss of
human capital - they are mostly professionals and their skills and
ability to create wealth and jobs cannot be replaced overnight, if at
all. In addition, emigration on this scale raises the questions of how
many more people may join this new Trek, and whether it emigration will
continue at current levels or whether a sudden mass exodus is a
possibility?
Official statistics vs. the actual numbers: the 2:1 and 3:1 ratios
As mentioned earlier, the number of people leaving South Africa each
year is at least double and could be triple the official numbers
provided by Statistics South Africa. The reason for this is because many
people who leave the country do so under the pretext of temporary visits
and do not state on their departure forms that they are emigrating, but
merely going on holiday - they will therefore not appear in the official
emigration statistics. The result is the huge discrepancy between
official or self-declared emigrants and unofficial emigrant numbers (the
undocumented migrants). Even the South African authorities are aware of
this phenomenon, but are powerless to do anything about it, according to
Mark Orkin, chief of Statistics South Africa.
The discrepancies between official and unofficial statistics (the latter
obtained from the embassies and immigration departments of several
countries) are glaringly obvious: -Official South African figures claim
that 29 000 South Africans had settled in the UK between 1984 and 1993,
compared to figure of 100 000 claimed by British sources. … Assuming
that the British numbers are the correct version, three times more
emigrants arrived in the UK than was counted by South African sources.
For the period of 1994-1997, 8 874 South Africans entered the UK as
immigrants although the South African official sources counted only 4
654 - almost double.
The logistics of emigration
...the presence of hundreds of thousands of South African emigrants all
over the world is evidence of the fact that, irrespective of obstacles
and sacrifices, emigration has become a realistic and logical choice for
many predominantly white South Africans and is viewed as a readily
available alternative to life in South Africa. However, there are at
least four distinct obstacles facing a typical emigrant: the first being
emotional and psychological barriers; the steep costs of emigration; the
financial and administrative barriers erected by the South African
authorities; the entry restrictions placed on emigration by various
countries through a multitude of entry requirements.
The key to successful emigration lies in overcoming these barriers one
by one, but even the most meticulous planning and the highest number of
emigration points cannot always overcome what could be the biggest
hurdle, namely the emotional costs of emigration - saying goodbye to
family, friends, often the family pet, to a particular lifestyle,
traditions and familiar things, and to one's country of birth and all it
represents - these all are the things that often prove to be the biggest
obstacle.
Psychological and emotional aspects
Among the typical comments from emigrants describing the pain and
emotional turmoil are the following: when she finally got on the plane,
(she) cried so much that the air hostess asked her if there had been a
death in the family - emigrant, Sydney.
...this may also explain why so many people do not to use the term
emigration, i.e. because of its finality - they refer instead
euphemistically to `relocation` and to `going overseas for a while` - in
fact, as mentioned elsewhere, up to two-thirds of people leaving South
Africa each year do not formally `emigrate`, although this is probably
largely because of practical rather than emotional reasons.
Many emigrants have to cope with feelings of guilt for leaving the
country in which they grew up and which educated them - they are often
accused of having lived off the fat of the land and wanting to jump ship
when the going gets tough. However, up to two thirds of emigrants,
according to an Idasa survey, have a desire to stay and help build South
Africa, but feel compelled to leave because of crime.
Why do people leave South Africa?
...South African emigrants are motivated by a number of typical `push`
factors and these are countered by many `pull` factors. The typical
emigrant will list various `push` factors in order of importance, among
which will be uncertainty about the future, falling standards, the
economy, affirmative action and bleak job prospects, and loss of faith
in the ANC-led government, but most importantly, he or she will list
violent crime as the real reason for wanting to emigrate. Surveys
indicate that 60% of emigrants regard crime as the major reason for
leaving South Africa, while 19% cite concern for their children's
education. A total of 15% of emigrants said that they were looking for a
better quality of life, 14% wanted better prospects in general, 20% were
concerned about healthcare, and 10% cited the government, the economy
and affirmative action as reasons for emigrating.
In this chapter each of these issues will be examined in the context in
which they contribute to emigration from South Africa.
The emigration debate
Emigration has always been an emotional issue in South Africa largely
because it has always been viewed from a political perspective, rather
than as a social or economic phenomenon. As the numbers of emigrants
increased and surpassed the numbers of immigrants during the second half
of the 1990s, emotions rose to new levels and the opposition to
emigration fiercer - arguments for and against emigration became more
politicised, personal and took on a racial flavour. This is not
surprising as the vast majority of emigrants are white and the vast
majority of whites voted against the ANC in both post-apartheid
elections. In South Africa's current political climate, the
anti-government sentiment of many whites is easily construed as
disloyalty against the ANC and against the country - the perception is
that emigrants are disloyal South Africans.
The debate is structured as follows: while the one side is questioning
the loyalty and patriotism of those who were leaving, the other side
points to the socio-political conditions that cause people to leave the
country and insists that emigration is a constitutional and human right.
The emigration debate was fuelled by former president Nelson Mandela's
comments in 1998, that `real South Africans are ...not going to run
away`. While Mandela received much support for calling a `spade a
spade`, his comments also drew sharp criticism from some South Africans
for what they perceived as interference in their democratic right to
emigrate, while others demanded that the President address the
underlying causes for emigration rather than attacking emigrants.
Despite the arguments between those who criticise emigration and those
who defend the freedom to emigrate, which are based mostly on abstract
emotional terms such as patriotism, racism and anger towards the
government, the real issue revolves around the impact that emigration
has on the South African economy. In other words, what is the cost of
emigration to the country in terms of the outflow of skills and capital,
especially in the absence of a compensating inflow of skilled immigrants?
...the magnitude of the current brain drain and the potential flight of
skills from South Africa are truly shocking. Surveys commissioned by the
Sunday Times in 1998 concluded that between 71% and 74% of professional
people in South Africa was considering emigrating. The survey found that
almost a similar percentage of skilled blacks also considered leaving
the country, although three quarters of these would do so for study
purposes, that is, not permanently. The survey was extensive and
received 11 000 individual responses from those with professional
qualifications, and despite some criticism against its methodology, the
survey provided a fairly representative sampling of the opinion of
professionals...
However, the converse is also true. South Africa gains skills from
immigrants and it is an irrefutable fact that for a long time officially
South Africa had a net gain of skilled people because of migrants. These
people came to South Africa with their degrees, skills and capital to
the great benefit of the country - referred to as the `brain-gain`. For
this very reason it is so difficult to understand or justify the
bureaucratic bungling of the Department of Home Affairs when issuing
work and residency permits to foreign skilled workers.
While the decline in immigration during the 1990s was partially a result
of the unstable political situation and because of violence and crime,
it was also a result of the Department of Home Affairs` absurdly
stringent immigration policies and restrictions on work and residency
visas. While South Africa has an urgent need for professionals in most
categories, official policies have led to a decline in the numbers of
professionals such as doctors, managers and engineers entering the
country over the past five years: between 1993 and 1998 the number of
professional immigrants has declined by 74%, from 1,171 in 1993 to 307
in 1998.
I am a father. So,sometimes i need to do stuff that fathers do. In the
old days, it was marbles and tolle and ketties. Things have changed.
So,two weeks ago,the fucking bright sparks over the road here,whispered
the words "GOLD REEF CITY" into my laaities ears,and what can you do?You
go to GRC.
Ok,so i checked the website...nananana,looks like piss,hier en daar n
fokken ride or two,and i wanted to go down the mine. So ek trek my
plakkies aan, kam my hare, and off we go.
We got there early. Ek kap manhaftig twee worsbroodjies weg, en n
halfliter melk, and followed my son to the first ride...called Runaway
Train.
We get on, and i thought these things were for kids and stuff,and off it
went. I did not like it. It was going sideways and shit,and i was queasy
when i got off.
What bothered me though was the sound coming from behind me somewhere.
Dit klink soos n fokken boeing wat land. And then i saw it. Big
signwriting...ANAFOKKENCONDA.
I had to keep face, i wear the pants in this family. Ek maak my arms
bak, en ek loop fier en regop teen die dekplank op. Ek gaan die donner
ry, what can go wrong?
There was a queue and the fuck up with that is, you can see what the
thing does to people.
When it came in the second time,and a young student dude, met spiere
waar ek voue het, got out, and kots oor die reling, toe weet ek, my kak
is uitgeknip vir my.
Then it was our turn.Jono chickened out, BUT my wife was checking me
out. This is where you have to be nonchalant,and manly. I kept my chin
up, en my hol toegeknyp.
You get into this thing, and you hang. The safety bar didnt want to go
over my hoenderborsie, so i pulled a Ville Valo, and made myself thin,
and hooked a clip too close....i think.
KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG....en kom ons fok nie rond nie....skielik is ek
so bang dat ek n bliksemse nieraanval kry.....
dan draai die etterse ding en dan......P@$S HY NA BENEDE....MET DIE
SPOED VAN DIE HEILIGE FOKKEN WIT ELAND.
I shit you not, forget any car,bike,plane or whatever the fuck you
measure your manliness by....it accelerated like nothing i have ever felt.
But if this wasnt enough, gaan donner die ding onderstebo met jou. I
feel the worsrolletjie. No wait, i feel the texture of the
worsrolletjie, every fucking fibre of the worsrolletjie.
Kerels, we came out that first loop met die spoed van fokken wit lig. I
wanted it to stop.I havent prayed in 22 years....i did then. We levelled
out,and then it hit the second loop.
Shorter radius than the first. Ons fok daardeur,en ek verloor my
plakkie. Onderstebo, and then around 2 flat corners wa ek 10 jaar ouer
word, and then....the fucking thing corkscrewed.
Klits daai fokken broodjie en die melk laat dit lyk soos daai kak wat jy
oor bobotie gooi, and another,en fok dit, toe skree ek soos n Namibiese
vlakte vlermuis wat se sonar gekak het.
And into the station at 200kmh, and just for shits and giggles, they
stop it in 10m flat.
I just sat there. Stunned,and my wife is oooh and aaaahing, en
lets-go-againing....sy moet haar jags hou.
It fucked my whole day up.
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