Son kills mother with spear

A 45-year-old man has allegedly murdered his mother with a spear in
Willowvale, Queenstown, Eastern Cape police said on Tuesday.
Captain Lingisile Magama said the man, also suspected of being mentally
ill, arrived home on Monday night armed with a spear.
He found his 60-year-old mother and told her he was looking for his
sister. He allegedly told her he wanted to kill her.
After his mother told him that his sister had not arrived home the man
went to a nearby bus stop to wait for her.
The mother followed him and tried to reason with him, but he would not
listen. She eventually asked him to kill her instead of her daughter,
which he did.- Sapa

It's not possible to beat 10 out of 10 (edited)

By Nontobeko Mtshali
A distinction in one matric subject at the end of the year is great.
Three is even better. Ten distinctions in all 10 subjects is almost
beyond comprehension.
Kyle Hanck, an 18-year-old from St John's College, a private school in
Johannesburg, did just that.
Kyle is one of 15 matriculants who achieved a "full house" - an A in
every subject - at the school.
As required by the school, Kyle had to do sport and cultural activities.
He also did music, which required hours of practice, and has done 150
hours of community service in the six years he has been at St John's.
Kyle, who wants to do a business science degree at the University of
Cape Town in 2009, said he managed to juggle his studies and extramural
activities because of "effective time management".

* *This article was originally published on page 1 of **The Star*
<http://www.thestar.co.za/>* on December 30, 2008 *

Babe of the day

Charlize Theron

Robbery in progress? So what!

By Mooketsi Nthite
Police have again been accused of failing to assist members of the
public after burglars broke into a Silverton home early on Thursday morning.
Silverton resident Vincent Koorts woke up at about 2.30am after he heard
two intruders in his home.
He was unable to call the police as his cellphone was in the same room
as the intruders.
Koorts snuck out to his next door neighbours to call the Silverton
police station, which is within walking distance from his house.
"I called the police when the actual burglary was in progress."
By the time police arrived on the scene two hours later, the suspects
were long gone.
Vincent's wife Yvonne claimed that the police officers were careless in
collecting evidence.
"There were many fingerprints left behind but no one took them," she said.
Silverton police spokesperson Captain Jan Sepato said they would look
into the allegations.
This article was originally published on page 3 of Pretoria News
<http://www.pretorianews.co.za/>* on December 19, 2008

SA National Road Network

You are proudly South African when...

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
- You call a bathing suit a 'swimming costume'.
- You call a traffic light a 'robot'.
- You call an elevator a 'lift'.
- You call a hood a 'bonnet'.
- You call a trunk a 'boot'.
- You call a pickup truck a 'bakkie'.
- You call a barbeque a 'braai'.
- The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
- The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just
finished watching.
- You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is 'Arctic
weather'.
- You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
- You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no
idea what it means in any of them.
- You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
- You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim,
sometimes simultaneously.
- You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's license when stopped
by a traffic officer.
- You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
- You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
- Still, you're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find
your car parked where you left it.
- When you are a victim of crime and say: 'At least I'm still alive'.
- You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.
- You travel 100's of kilometers just to see a snow fall.
- You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee.
- To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
- More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
- Our people have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,
Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Given,
Patience, Portion, and Coronation.
- 'Now now' or 'just now' can mean anything from a minute to a month.
- You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make
way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
- Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.
- A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes.
- The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines
and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
- You paint your car's registration number on its roof.
- You paint your street number on your house's roof.
- You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a
government hospital.
- You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
- Prisoners go on strike.
- You don't stop at a red robot, in case somebody hijacks your car.
- (as advised by the police, no less).
- You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
- Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is
too high.
- You actually understand these jokes (but they ARE true!) and pass them
on to other friends from SA.

Cape Flats Lullaby

Hush my laaitie don't you cry
Daddy's gonna steal you a GTi,
And if that GTi don't Torque
Another GTi, I will stalk.
And if the stalking don't go to well
Daddy's gonna steal you a Caravelle
And if that Caravelle makes some tricks
Daddy's gonna jack you a VR6.
And if that VR6 won't fly
Daddy's gonna knock a BM from a Sandton guy.
And if that BM's sound is kwaai
Da Lenz cherries will go with you to elke braai!
And if the cops ask why ?
Daddy will buy the docket from a Police spy!
And if all these things still make you cry
Then you're not my laaitie
........ your mom told me a lie !!

Wat noem jy iemand...

SA life expectancy worse than Iraq

November 14 2008 at 06:03AM

The life expectancy of South Africans is lower than the average in
Africa and that of war-ravaged Iraq, a UN Population Fund report showed.
The data is contained in a report on the state of the world population
in 2008 which was released by the United Nations Population Fund on Tuesday.
Beeld newspaper reported that, worldwide, men are expected to live until
65 and women until almost 70.
But in Africa, men are expected to live until 52 and women until 54.
In South Africa, the life expectancy for men is 49 and for women 50.
In Iraq, those figures are 58 and 62 for men and women respectively.
The report also showed that the number of illiterate South African men
is more than double than those in Zimbabwe.
Illiteracy among South African men over 15-years-old is 16 percent as
opposed to 7 percent in Zimbabwe, Beeld said. - Sapa

Onderbroekies

HALLO MA!!!

Baie dankies vir die oulike onderbroekies wat Ma vir my op die plaas uit
meelsakkies gemaak het. Die meeste van hulle het groot reaksie by die
"Gooste" hier by die varsity uitgelok.
Sannie het my onderbroekie heel aand net stip gesit en bekyk dis nou
daai een waar voorop staan "SELF-RAISING". Heel aand nie 'n oog verroer
nie. Sy het lateraand net gesê "Dit werkie !" Wat nie werkie, weet ek
nou noggie.
Maar Magriet het haar nou die aand geniet toe ek die een aangehad het
waar voorop staan " ROL DUN UIT" . Sy is 'n handvol en was nogal
plesierig. Maar jislaaik is sy nogal rats met daai ou klein handjies van
haar.
Al bogger-op wat ek nou nog nie kan verstaan nie, is die klap wat Berta
my gegee het gisteraand. Sy verstaan seker nie watse moeite dit is om so
'n plaasonderbroek te maak nie. Ek het net 'n uur gekuier en toe ek met
my ander onderbroek wou spog, haak sy af en klap my van die bed af. Ma
weet mos dis daai een waar in rooi staan "IDEAAL VIR VETKOEKE"
Weet nou nog nie wat haar storie was nie, sal hom maar eers bêre !
Any-way, Ma ,laat dit lekker gaan op die plaas !!
Van ou Pietie
xxxxx

Sipho in die hemel ...

Sipho kom by die hemel en sien hy is innie kak want alles is WIT.
Die mense is WIT, die engele is WIT, die wolke is WIT.
Petrus vra vir Sipho: "Wat's jou naam?"
Sipho dink vinnig en antwoord: "Leonardo De Caprio !"
Petrus lyk confused en roep vir Moses nader en vra hom: "Moses, het
die Titanic gebrand of gesink?"

Nosy cow!

By Oris Mnisi and Tshwareloeseng Mogakane

It was like the proverbial bull in a china shop when a cow ran wildly
through an Mpumalanga shopping centre with a small dog attached to her
snout.

Witnesses said the dog - possibly a mix between a terrier and a corgi,
or even a sausage dog - had latched onto the cow's nose after finding
her grazing in his owner's vegetable garden.

The beast kicked and mooed - and ran, with the dog attached to her
snout, through the Thulamahashe shopping complex.

"The cow was kicking and bulldozing almost every object in its way as it
ran through the shops. She was desperately trying to get rid of the dog,
but couldn't," said security guard Vusi Shabangu on Wednesday.

He said it was like a battle between David and Goliath, and the guards
had to lock themselves up in their office to escape the wrath of the cow.

"When we first saw the dog we thought it was a plastic bag, but when the
cow got closer we saw it was dog hanging tight while the cow was bleeding."

The cow ran mad, shattering glass and spilling blood all over the place.

The police were called to try to rescue the cow.

"Luckily, somebody knew where the dog came from and we called one of the
family members," said Mhala police spokesperson Constable Robert Makhubela.

The dog released the cow when it heard the family member's voice.

Makhubela said none of the tenants at the complex laid charges of
malicious damage to property.

Centre manager Nomsa Ngomane said damage amounted to over R2 000. -
African Eye News Service

This article was originally published on page 2 of The Star on November
06, 2008

Fwd: The most dangerous city... [summarised]

November 05 2008 at 06:51AM

By Louise Flanagan

You are more likely to die on the roads in Joburg than anywhere else in
South Africa, but Cape Town is the most unsafe city.

That's what this year's Medical Research Council report on
injury-related deaths reveals.

The National Injury Mortality Surveillance System (NIMSS) report is
produced every year and is based on information from mortuaries, state
forensic chemistry laboratories and courts. It counts non-natural deaths.

The report, released today, estimates that 43 out of every 100 000
people in Joburg died on the roads last year.

That means the chances of dying on the roads in Joburg are higher than
the chances of being murdered in Gauteng - police statistics estimated
that 38 people per 100 000 were murdered in the province last year.

"With an injury mortality rate of 144,9 deaths per 100 000 population,
as well as a violence rate of 63,5 per 100 000, Cape Town is the most
unsafe among the four largest cities," the report states.

Suicide rates are also highest in Joburg, at 14 per 100 000 people.

The police, using reported crimes nationwide, counted about 18 500
murders last year.

* *This article was originally published on page 3 of **The Star*
<http://www.thestar.co.za/>* on November 05, 2008 *

Alexandra's Rat

A rat recently killed in Alexandra near Sandton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you been nailed lately?